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Homophobia - Seeking the next step.
#1
Ok let me introduce myself, I'm Bruno. I'm a Heterosexual Male which may lead you to wonder why on earth am I here?

I'm going to be bold enough to just come out and say that I'm a Homophobic. This isn't by choice (I used to have OCD) and I don't like having homophobia anymore then you like hearing about it.

I'm not here to judge, or point fingers, or any of that. You all have your own lives which I respect.

I have been to doctors for my OCD and it has been fixed now through medication and behavior therapy, however remnants from certain things (in this case homophobia) still cause slight distress. I've put lots of work into getting over my homophobia which has worked amazingly, I've come 1000% and I'm very proud of all the progress I've made. I'm sitting at the 99% mark and the only thing left to do is the "Ultimate No No for a Homophobic", making contact with Homosexuals.

By speaking out in your community today I'm showing that I'm over my Homophobia.
I need your help, I need some open minded individuals to post, so I can post back and say that "I did it", this stupid crap is over.

Although I am Christian and don't agree with Homosexuality, I do still believe you are people with unique qualities and talents such as anyone else.

I appreciate the read and hope to shake some of your hands one day! I did it Big Grin

God Bless you,

Bruno - Straight and Proud.
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#2
Wow...we have alot in common! I had a horrible case of Christianphobia for many years!

I am not over it yet...no meds for that one! I am working on it though. Wink

I rarely talk to Christians but posting this will be a great step for me so I hope you are open minded enough to understand this!

Peace Out:biggrin:

Bruce, Gay and Proud!
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#3
Goodness, Bruno, I don't know how to reply to this, but I feel I want to. Congratulations on overcoming your OCD; I would imagine living with that can be very debilitating. Now regarding homophobia - on one hand I guess you are to be applauded for recognising and attempting to tackle it, but on the other I'm not convinced that you have had very good advice on how to go about it.

Writing an almost anonymous message here is not really proof of anything except that you have something to say. I'm not a therapist, so maybe rising to a challenge to look at a gay-themed website might be considered a step on the way? Your choice of religion is irrelevant, really, to anyone but you. We choose our gods and create them in our own image. Telling me that you "don't agree with homosexuality" makes as much sense to me as if you had written, "I don't agree with left-handed people/Africans/people with ginger hair/ ... penguins" or any other manifestation of what I assume you might consider your god's creation.

It doesn't sound as though you are looking for discussion, so I shan't spend any more time working on this response, but there is probably a lot we could talk about.

Good luck with your quest for peace.
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#4
Since some of your homophobia may be Christian-related, I invite you to take a look at: http://www.soulforce.org/resources/what-...sexuality/ You may not agree, but perhaps it at least gets you to think.

I also hope you'll consider that it's NOT a choice. Leading organizations in health and psychology (and I mean leading organizations without political or religious affiliations, but are independent, unlike NOM) have accepted for YEARS that being gay is not something that can be changed - at least since the 70s and before then a lot of their methodology was flawed because they were looking only at those that went to see someone as opposed to all types of people.

I guess I am confused when you say "unique talents" - I certainly don't have any of the talents necessarily associated with any stereotypes. And yes there are those like the stereotypes out there - just like there are dumb jocks or smart Asians really out there. But just as athletes when you get to know them are really diverse, and some incredibly smart, so do gays transcends stereotypes. Some are ministers/preachers (in those denominations where it's allowed); some are soldiers even if they can't quite be open about it yet; some are cops or firemen; some teachers and professors. But if you still struggle with the whole choice thing, then think of this: Why would so much be in the news this last year about suicides and bullying? Wouldn't kids who are picked on choose to be straight and avoid that? But they don't because it is who they are, and it is time that the public at large started to realize that it's not a choice and it's important for these confused young teens to have resources to cope in case they are unable to turn to family.

I do applaud you for confronting your phobia and at the very least becoming tolerant - hopefully one day you can become accepting as well.
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#5
Six hundred years ago Christians didn't agree with the theory that the Earth was round. It didn't make them correct. Today Christians don't agree that homosexuality is natural, and they are as wrong about this today as they were about that six hundred years ago. I don't mean to be antagonistic, but almost everybody on this website has had their lives affected in some way by people interpreting scripture to deny them equality or shame them as outcasts, and the fact that you openly state "I'm Christian, so I don't agree with homosexuality" rubs me the wrong way. As marshlander said, it's like saying you disagree with left-handedness. Disagree all you want, but it exists, among humans and many, many species of animals, and therefore in nature. I also get a feeling that you are approaching us in the same way someone approaches a herd of lions. If you really feel this is a breakthrough for your personal growth, then congratulations. It looks to me, however, like you still are considerably afraid of us.
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#6
I think it's great that you are taking this FIRST step in moving past your 'homophobia'...and I think it's great that you are calling it that. Most people say "I'm not homophobic, I'm not afraid of 'you guys', I just think you are wrong/gross/against God/etc." But let me be clear. This is a first step. If this is the only way for you to start, then great, kudos to you for making this step. But it won't get you past this part of your life. After you interact with some people on here, and feel more comfortable, maybe attend a PFLAG (parents, family, friends of lesbians and gays) meeting and see what it's all about. You don't have to talk, you can sit in the corner and just listen. It would be a good second step. Some of the people there are parents and families trying to get over their predisposed notions of what it means for their loved one to be gay. You could find a lot of help there, even if you just listen. And maybe you might find the strength to talk. I wish you the best.
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#7
Hello Anonymous, I approve of everything my friends here have said, of course... And I just sit here wondering where this strong homophobia came from. I don't think it's genetic, so something in your childhood probably started it. Maybe finding the source of that could help you to heal more completely.
I'm not saying anything like this has happened to you, but a lot of gay people start out being extremely defensive and homophobic, because they know they are homosexual themselves, down deep inside and can't accept it. Maybe this is not your case, since you say that you are straight and proud of it. However most straight people couldn't care less what other people do with their lives, be they sexual lives or just lives. The way homosexuality used to antagonise you seems to be the counter weight of something really deep engrained and I wonder what it is. I hope you weren't abused as a child, which is a common pattern, again, not necessarily your case.
If you recognise that something abusive did happen to you, it is also possible that you shut it right up in your mind and that it's no longer something conscious. I think, East would agree with me here.
Good luck with your tentative approach to meeting some very ordinary people, indeed, which I think is what we are, seeking our own sort of happiness.
Peace to you.
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#8
Just three interesting questions here, if I may ask.

1. How do you feel about being homophobic?
2. And how do you feel about feeling that way about being homophobic?
3. And how would you like to feel about that now?

I guess where you go from here is entirely up to you. You can do it. I have faith in you.
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#9
Some very good responses here. as for the original poster, "Anonymous", i see that you have 322 post as of may 2010, so I am curious as to what else you have posted in the community forum.
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#10
Tsizzle Wrote:Some very good responses here. as for the original poster, "Anonymous", i see that you have 322 post as of may 2010, so I am curious as to what else you have posted in the community forum.


Anonymous can be anybody who does not wish to post under their regular name, so the count doesn't mean much. It could be the same person or any number of different posters. :confused:
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