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Hook up sites....
#21
reaper Wrote:Hmmm, since my last post he has texted me again saying he wishes he could come over. I did not respond and feel kind of bad about this. I don't like making anyone feel bad, but I'm sure this will be unavoidable no matter how nice I try to be.

Being direct in a text could prove really helpful. Something like, "I don't see us being sexual together. Good to meet you."
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#22
reaper Wrote:Hmmm, since my last post he has texted me again saying he wishes he could come over. I did not respond and feel kind of bad about this. I don't like making anyone feel bad, but I'm sure this will be unavoidable no matter how nice I try to be.

Of course if it were a really hot guy that I wanted...this would not be happening. He kind of wants a boyfriend, and he knows where I am and understands that I'm in an exploratory phase. I made some joke that I'm in a frat house phase at the moment. Maybe I should tell him about the club, lol.

Unfortunately rejection is part of the deal... getting and giving.
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#23
Borg69 Wrote:Unfortunately rejection is part of the deal... getting and giving.

True. I've already had some, now I'll have to give some. Of the 3 I've connected with on here, the only one I'd really like to see go to plan is the guy who's supposed to come over tomorrow. We've been texting and he's hot as hell, he's also an accountant and into fitness...seems pretty normal.

The guy I'm having a date with on Tuesday could be more of a friend thing, depending what I think when we meet. Since it seems like that was the way we were heading I was telling him a bit about my journey thus far...I'll tell him the truth since the outcome won't be so important...especially if it's more of a friend thing.

He'd be the first person, in the flesh, that would here my story. When i told him all this he said it sounds cool. I said, hopefully that's your response after, lol.

They guy who's maybe coming tomorrow will not hear any of the club stuff. I mentioned I go into the city on Sundays, since I was seeing if he wanted to get together before I to there, but it wouldn't work. Later, he asked what I had to do in the city.

I had to lie a bit and said it was a work thing. I want that one to happen and to much truth might hurt the cause. I'm a very honest person, but being honest about that part of my life is not really possible.
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#24
Honesty is the best policy. You could have said that it was social engagement with some guys. That would not have been a lie.

If the bondage club is important to you...you are going to need to feel comfortable sharing this with guys you meet and date early on. Let them then make their decision as to whether it is something that is a deal breaker for them. It is not the kind of thing that I would appreciate hearing about on the 5th or 6th date...even if I didn't have an issue with it...it would make me start wondering how many other kinks or secrets you are not sharing with me.
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#25
Rareboy Wrote:Honesty is the best policy. You could have said that it was social engagement with some guys. That would not have been a lie.

If the bondage club is important to you...you are going to need to feel comfortable sharing this with guys you meet and date early on. Let them then make their decision as to whether it is something that is a deal breaker for them. It is not the kind of thing that I would appreciate hearing about on the 5th or 6th date...even if I didn't have an issue with it...it would make me start wondering how many other kinks or secrets you are not sharing with me.

I hear you, and actually agree with you.

But it's not as simple as that. On that site, which seems to have many degenerates, I started off by mentioning the kink in the course of our conversations, not that I was pushing it on them, just that it's one of my interests. Since you are basically anonymous I figured it would easy. But it was generally not well received. It seemed to scare people off. Plus it is private in a way as well.

Not mentioning also has it's own set of problems. My short journey has begun and has played out in that place....I'm trying to branch out. I mention that I'm recently out, and of course it leads to questions...questions that are inevitable regardless. How I've come out, when, where, my experiences....all tied to the club. Without mentioning the club all my answers would have to be half-truths at best.

I'll have to figure this out as I've had to do with everything else. I'll talk to one of my friends at the club about this, the owner...the Yoda of all this. He's very insightful and helpful, I trust his judgement.

I'll do what I think is best, but another perspective from someone a bit older and around this all for a long time could be helpful.
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#26
reaper Wrote:... another perspective from someone a bit older and around this all for a long time could be helpful.

Well, that counts me out. Tongue3
.
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#27
Follow up...

So last night was the infamous club night. I mentioned nothing about the previous rejection like I said I would.

The night was soooo much fun, and hotter then usual.

While topping in a hot scene, I got some oral from the bound bottom who was hot as hell.

Then in another scene me and my buddy were topping some guy. My buddy got oral from him which was pretty hot, while I gave oral to the guy.

I realize it's a lot of information, but this was the case.

Afterwards me and my buddy went to have a smoke. I was starting to tell him how hot the scenes were the last 2 weeks and he pushed me up against the wall and we kissed for a bit.

I understand how crazy this may sound from the outside, but it doesn't feel crazy to me. It's just fun...a lot of fun!

So I'm glad I didn't bring any of the stuff up that had troubled me so much earlier in the week.

On a side note, a hot guy from a hook up app came over and I'm no longer a virgin....pitching or catching, lol.

This was a few hours ago.

That stuff aside, my day was fairly typical.
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#28
Sounds hot! Where are the pictures? Wink
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#29
Borg69 Wrote:Sounds hot! Where are the pictures? Wink

Haha, they'll be up next week. They post them on the webpage but they block out our faces. They got a bit to racy to post here.
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#30
reaper Wrote:Haha, they'll be up next week. They post them on the webpage but they block out our faces. They got a bit to racy to post here.

I have an inbox here! LOL.
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