07-12-2008, 03:52 PM
Hi guys. Iâm new to this site, but Iâve read a huge quantity of the previous threads etc. before⦠and I must say you all seem like really nice, quality people.
Iâve noticed that most of the âcoming outâ stuff on this site seems to be about telling people that you are gay⦠not about knowing whether you are gay or not in the first place. My problem is not telling people Iâm gay. Iâm actually a very open person, and all my friends already know about my conundrum! Itâs more a case of knowing inside whether or not I am gay.
Just to give you a bit of background: Iâve just finished my first year at uni, and although Iâve listed myself as single on this site, Iâm just finishing the third year of a long term relationship with my girlfriend. She does not go to the same uni as me, and this year has been OK, although it is beginning to feel (to me) like a bit of a convenient relationship in the sense that I donât see her very often, and we donât really talk a huge amount in between.
Up to a few months ago I was fairly happy with how things were, believing that I was totally straight.
Iâve always been very playful with all my (straight) friends, pretending to be gay with them in what I always thought was a jest full, almost macho, way. Because my friends at home were so used to it, I didnât think otherwise. However, coming to uni and immediately fitting in with a fantastic new bunch of friends, who began to question why I behaved like that, has made me question it myself. They were actually so convinced that I am gay, that they told me I was!!! (Like I said, weâre an open bunch!) This triggered a process that culminated in recent months with me being 100% sure Iâm either gay or bi.
Now, as a scientific, rational person, I like to question things. What I really need to discover is whether or not I am actually gay⦠or whether Iâm just placing myself within a âgay roleâ in the group because I enjoy it. (Sorry about that⦠Iâm studying medicine, and hence Iâm thinking a little too deep and psychological about this!)
So, I come to my main question:
How does one know if one is gay or bi? This is the most important question, because ultimately it will determine whether or not I break it off with my girlfriend!
Alsoâ¦. Surely Iâm far too old to question my sexuality!! Isnât that totally a pubescent teenager kinda thing? What I mean by that is⦠surely I would have known all along? Arenât gay people supposed to feel âdifferentâ from a really young age?
Iâve noticed that most of the âcoming outâ stuff on this site seems to be about telling people that you are gay⦠not about knowing whether you are gay or not in the first place. My problem is not telling people Iâm gay. Iâm actually a very open person, and all my friends already know about my conundrum! Itâs more a case of knowing inside whether or not I am gay.
Just to give you a bit of background: Iâve just finished my first year at uni, and although Iâve listed myself as single on this site, Iâm just finishing the third year of a long term relationship with my girlfriend. She does not go to the same uni as me, and this year has been OK, although it is beginning to feel (to me) like a bit of a convenient relationship in the sense that I donât see her very often, and we donât really talk a huge amount in between.
Up to a few months ago I was fairly happy with how things were, believing that I was totally straight.
Iâve always been very playful with all my (straight) friends, pretending to be gay with them in what I always thought was a jest full, almost macho, way. Because my friends at home were so used to it, I didnât think otherwise. However, coming to uni and immediately fitting in with a fantastic new bunch of friends, who began to question why I behaved like that, has made me question it myself. They were actually so convinced that I am gay, that they told me I was!!! (Like I said, weâre an open bunch!) This triggered a process that culminated in recent months with me being 100% sure Iâm either gay or bi.
Now, as a scientific, rational person, I like to question things. What I really need to discover is whether or not I am actually gay⦠or whether Iâm just placing myself within a âgay roleâ in the group because I enjoy it. (Sorry about that⦠Iâm studying medicine, and hence Iâm thinking a little too deep and psychological about this!)
So, I come to my main question:
How does one know if one is gay or bi? This is the most important question, because ultimately it will determine whether or not I break it off with my girlfriend!
Alsoâ¦. Surely Iâm far too old to question my sexuality!! Isnât that totally a pubescent teenager kinda thing? What I mean by that is⦠surely I would have known all along? Arenât gay people supposed to feel âdifferentâ from a really young age?