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well, me and my partner met through a hookup for sex. just -- we were both into repeat performances and it went on for a couple of years that way with us.
no, you probably can't find a relationship through a hookup app on a moment's notice. but neither will you find a relationship anywhere else like that. people who end up in a relationship usually do so because they know each other and want to make a commitment to one another. this isn't how it always plays out, some guys look for a relationship for relationship's sake, but that is not how it should be done, really.
get to know men. communicate with them, talk to them, spend time with them. even if it's just as friends. and then, something might develop down along the line. that is how relationships work.
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01-10-2016, 02:03 AM
(Edited 01-10-2016, 02:11 AM by Camfer.)
Well maybe a gay friend would be a place to start. If you can create a circle of gay friends, then even if you don't have a boyfriend at least you are not lonely. Ask all your friends if they know any fun gay men. Dating will happen on its own if you start meeting guys, so focus on friends first.
I don't know how outgoing you are, but consider starting a meetup.com group around an activity for gay men. It doesn't much matter what the activity is, just something where you meet up with gay guys, do some activity together, and be sociable. You're developing your close ties and your weak ties at the same time. The real networking happens face to face. You can even limit the size of the group if large groups don't work for you.
It could even be a meetup in a straight bar. In my town we spread the word that gays would meet Tuesday nights at a hotel lobby bar. We never cleared it with management, we just spread the word throughout the gay populace to come out that night and socialize. We'd have as many as 20 guys show up even in a small town! Sometimes it would be 2 or 3 guys. And then there were closeted guys who would just happen to be there at the straight bar, desperately trying to muster the courage to say hi to us. I'd acknowledge them discreetly but never engage with them. The servers loved that we came in, because we took a normally dead night for the bar and brought a bunch of guys who were good tippers.
Out here we have a gay outdoors group on meetup and there are trips posted there every month. This time of year it's snowshoeing and skiing. In the summer it's bike rides, camping, and hiking. I've made friends through that. The main organizer started it to find a boyfriend, and it worked for him! The group continues to meet.
Good luck to you!
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Be prepared for things next to never going the way you expect or want them to turn out... Life is full of disappointment, just have to persevere through all the shit and hopefully find someone will just work... So yeah, have fun, don't just want a relationship... have fun first, even if it isn't something you would normally consider doing... might as other have stated find someone special through a hookup... and mind you I don't generally go that route, but fuck I may as well. Just be safe with whatever you do, don't go too crazy either..
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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You could always try my trick of "don't have a boyfriend, have a snack instead". It's delicious.
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