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Human Farm (A story)
#11
And thanks for Ben and Frank and Marsh and PA too. Your comments mean so much to me too.

Like, it makes me think,

"Hm... people actually do read these stuff..."

Confusedmile:
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#12
Amigo, I must agree with Donald. When it comes to the creativity of your mind, the story is remarkable, but when it comes to the telling of the story, it needs a good bit of work.

Based on what I have read, if you wish to improve your writing, I would start by reading . . . and reading a great deal at that. It is part of unknown background of any great writer--they read far more than they write.

Your story reminds me a bit of "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair in many ways. Like your story, it is about a slaughter house, and like your story, the people in the slaughter house are caught up in a system that will ultimately destroy them. Though yours is science fiction, Sinclair's is meant to be a picture of the slaughter industry during the early 20th century and from a larger perspective, a criticism of capitalism.
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#13
Thank you wintereis!

Yes... I should do more reading... I regret not reading enough during high school. I wonder why I didn't.

I hated literature class during high school because the teacher was always right and I was always wrong.

The teacher would ask the students what we thought about the story, and whenever I told her what I thought about the story, she would say I was wrong and the correct interpretation of the story was such and such...

Sort of discouraged me from reading...
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#14
Actually "Human Farm" was from "Animal Farm", but the animals in the farms are substituted with humans, and humans are substituted with aliens.

So the aliens are running a farm, a farm of humans, and I wanted to see where I can go from there...
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