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I Married A Moron
#31
My parents were married in the 1950s, before divorce became so much more common. Yet, a lot of the wives of that generation had a secret safe deposit box at the bank.

Once a year they would have to go in to the bank and pay the annual fee, so no bill would come to the house. In the box they kept cash, jewelry, gold coins, etc. Anything that was small and valuable. Every year, they would add some more things to that box.

If anything happened to the relationship, no matter what happened in divorce court, they had a secret stash they could use to start life over again. I know my mother had one. She never needed to use it. It seems even more prudent to have one in modern times.

Let's say you've been putting away $50 a month for the past ten years. You've got $6000 in that box. You know it's there in case you ever need it. It gives you a sense of security and freedom.
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#32
Keep up with putting the blame exactly where it lies, Beaux. Just keep letting him know he has no more outs.
I bid NO Trump!
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#33
LJay Wrote:Keep up with putting the blame exactly where it lies, Beaux. Just keep letting him know he has no more outs.

He keeps trying to hold my hand. It is disturbing. From absolutely no perspective, can the dynamics of this relationship be deemed "expected" or (shudder) "normal". In what universe does he think it is acceptable to call me a thief and demand that I move all my possessions out of "his" house; then, less than 24 hours later, expect me to hold his f-ing hand..?

Sometimes I feel like I have fallen down the looking glass, and it really is me who is crazy.

~Beaux
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#34
^ Beaux.

Whatever the difficulties you may find in a legal procedure, it would probably be adviceable to think about going through one starting now. This whole things is light years pass "not healthy" for you.

And you know? Tape him.

Put a camera or something so the abuse (yes, it's ABUSE) he is putting you through gets taped into a neat little form of evidence.

I'm sure he wasn't like this before. I'm sure there were plenty of good times. But those times have passed it seems.

You deserve better. The desicion is yours and you'll know how to go about things best, I'm sure.
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#35
This highly conflicted behavior is just one more indication or the seriousness of the situation. He feels and acts out a combination of anger and guilt and the need for security. In addition to a lawyer you need to consult with a psychologist for your own sake ASAP. You should probably also consult with the doctor. Whatever you do, Beaux, do not try to handle this alone. Get help for yourself.
I bid NO Trump!
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#36
I don't know all the history with you guys but it's rather clear that neither of you is happy. Get the divorce in motion! the sooner you get it started the faster you get out - no matter how much he tries to delay it.
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#37
Insertnamehere Wrote:^ Beaux.

Whatever the difficulties you may find in a legal procedure, it would probably be adviceable to think about going through one starting now. This whole things is light years pass "not healthy" for you,,.

And you know? Tape him.

Put a camera or something so the abuse (yes, it's ABUSE) he is putting you through gets taped into a neat little form of evidence.

I'm sure he wasn't like this before. I'm sure there were plenty of good times. But those times have passed it seems.

You deserve better. The desicion is yours and you'll know how to go about things best, I'm sure.

I want to reassure everyone that I have a handle on things now. I don't want anyone to worry.

It is so surreal though, I feel dishonest telling anyone that everything will be "ok" now, mainly because I am still having trouble understanding what is going on myself.

~Beaux
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