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I don't know if I should commit to this guy or not
#1
I’ve been seeing this guy. We’ve known each other for months, but mostly kept it as a friendship we’re we occasionally go out with one another. Sexually, we’ve fooled around, and now he really wants to do more than what we’ve already done.
It’s really confusing, because we both tried seeing other guys, but my feelings keep growing for him.
There’s kind of a problem though, and why I was sort of resistant to our potential: he wants to move back to Taiwan.
I’m white and he’s Taiwanese. He’s only been in the U.S. for two years, and I’m fine with his English, but he’s really hard on himself for it. It can take a while for him to think of the English words to say sometimes, and so he’s kind of shy when talking to Americans. He does need to use the translator on his phone a lot, and I’m perfectly fine with it. But he’s only in the U.S. to get a graduate degree, and he says he feels unwelcome in the U.S., both because of his English and because he’s a foreigner. He also tells me he’s kind of scared of America because of guns, racism, and He Who Must Not Be Named.
I don’t want to start a serious relationship with him if it’ll end when he moves back, or end with him living in a country he feels unwelcome and unsafe in. I seriously doubt I could make a living in Taiwan, so that’s out.
We both like each other though, so I don’t know what to do.
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#2
Enjoy what you have while you have it, and don't try to label it. Know that it might end.
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#3
I think [MENTION=22879]kindy64[/MENTION] 's advice is probably the best thing to do. Nothing is a sure thing even if there wasn't a chance that he would go back to Taiwan. You might very well be the reason he decides to stay, it all depends on how he feels.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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#4
Anonymous Wrote:I’ve been seeing this guy. We’ve known each other for months, but mostly kept it as a friendship we’re we occasionally go out with one another. Sexually, we’ve fooled around, and now he really wants to do more than what we’ve already done.
It’s really confusing, because we both tried seeing other guys, but my feelings keep growing for him.
There’s kind of a problem though, and why I was sort of resistant to our potential: he wants to move back to Taiwan.
I’m white and he’s Taiwanese. He’s only been in the U.S. for two years, and I’m fine with his English, but he’s really hard on himself for it. It can take a while for him to think of the English words to say sometimes, and so he’s kind of shy when talking to Americans. He does need to use the translator on his phone a lot, and I’m perfectly fine with it. But he’s only in the U.S. to get a graduate degree, and he says he feels unwelcome in the U.S., both because of his English and because he’s a foreigner. He also tells me he’s kind of scared of America because of guns, racism, and He Who Must Not Be Named.
I don’t want to start a serious relationship with him if it’ll end when he moves back, or end with him living in a country he feels unwelcome and unsafe in. I seriously doubt I could make a living in Taiwan, so that’s out.
We both like each other though, so I don’t know what to do.

Learn to speak and understand his language
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#5
Anonymous Wrote:I don’t want to start a serious relationship with him if it’ll end when he moves back, or end with him living in a country he feels unwelcome and unsafe in. I seriously doubt I could make a living in Taiwan, so that’s out.
We both like each other though, so I don’t know what to do.

As you can't make the country feels safer for him, I think what you can do now is making him at least feel welcomed. Perhaps help him to join some community that he would feel belonged to? Or maybe introduce some of your friends / make some new common friends together so he could have more sense of belonging here? I believe you can find more ways to do so.

I think you can try this at the moment and see if it can change his mind.
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