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I got 99 problems and...
#1
My flatmate's girlfriend is one of them! A major problem!

Mate of mine recently moved in with me, it's a short term thing whilst he's looking for somewhere else because despite the fact that we've known each other years and love each other dearly - we know we cannot live together! Domestically we drive each other insane!

But he's one of my best mates and I would quite literally trust him with my life. But he has a new girlfriend and whilst on the surface she seemed perfectly polite and nice, when we're alone she makes odd, passive aggressive comments and I always feel like she's giving me evils. None of our other straight friends have any problems with her but another gay friend of mine visited whilst she was here and said he was getting definite vibes from her!

So I decided to broach the topic with my mate, we've always been able to talk about everything and anything. He said she isn't homophobic but said that I was the first gay man she ever met and that she comes from a really conservative background and she's probably just trying to "adjust". He said she definitely likes me though and he would never for a second put up with anyone being negative or homophobic towards me and I believe this.

But she has done something since then that could have far reaching consequences! Anyone who's read my other threads will know of my relationship/series of complicated/farcical situations with an actor. Well, we're back together! That is to say, we're fucking on a regular basis and yea, its still complicated.

The other day he came around to my flat in the morning, my mate was gone to work and I presumed I had the place to myself. He and I got a little heated on the sofa and suddenly I heard a noise. I paused things and went to check if my mate had come back. But it was HER, his girlfriend! She had been in the flat the whole time. And the cheeky cow had taken a photo of us on the sofa! She waved in front of me on the screen of her phone laughing. She recognised my actor as being on tv but couldn't remember his name. She asked if it was really him, I was totally focused on the photo and not wanting him to realise what was going on because he would FREAK! I asked her to delete the photo but she just kept laughing and refused. She grabbed her bag and left.

Later on I called my mate, told him what happened and told him how important it was she delete the photo - not to mention how weird and creepy it was she took it in the first place! He said he'd have a word and when he got home he said there was nothing to worry about, she did it as a joke. He isn't clear however on whether she deleted it. I am so terrified it's going to turn up online somewhere and I don't know what to do. Do I take his word for it that it was just a moment of stupidity and a bad sense of humour on her part or do I need to tell my actor that he should maybe start preparing for a scandal? Is there any way I could block her from sharing the photo?
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#2
Well...in my opinion...this does sounds like a very "sticky" situation to say the least because I feel from your discussion posts that this girl really do have a problem with you being gay since she does comes from a conservative background. I also feel that if she had no problem with you then she would not have been in your place, took a picture of you and your boyfriend without your knowledge and then precede to go back to the room that your buddy reside in still without you being aware that she was in your place. Also, your "mate" should have informed you that his girl was still in your place on his way out. I tend to believe that him allowing her to stay while he's away or at work is taking advantage of the situation as a whole. Lastly, I believe also that he is very much aware that she is a homophobic but since he is having sex with her in your place and he has no residence of his own at the moment...he is LYING about not knowing this information. In other words...ITS ALL ABOUT HIM...THE HELL WITH YOU!!!!!. ...ITS ALL ABOUT HIM GETTING LAID!!! Once you had informed him how uncomfortable she makes you feel IN YOUR PLACE I may add...which I feel is totally ridiculous...if he cared about your feelings...he would have met her somewhere else since he's staying there temporarily. Another thing...if this is someone that he cares so much about or even sexually involved...then why she doesn't have a place of her own and why he's not staying with her????...just my opinion...I hope your "mate" can talk her out of uploading the photo of you two for your boyfriend's sake. If not...then you have to know where your loyalty lies with him...Good Luck!!!
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#3
If this mate of yours was such a true friend, he'd damn well MAKE SURE the pic was deleted, even if it meant getting her phone and doing it himself. What...you can trust him with your life but not your privacy?

It's very kind of you to let him stay, but I think you need to set limits. He has no business leaving random people in your apartment while he's not there...especially her. I think it would be reasonable to tell him you don't want her around and to see her somewhere else.

As for telling your bf, I have no idea what to say...you know better than anyone how he'd react. Hopefully, nothing will happen with the pic.

It's admirable that you want to help your friend, but in this case I think you have to put your own needs first.
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#4
I think it might be too late. My mate has gone around to hers again to make sure she's deleted it after she sent it to me by text - don't even know how she got my number!

But I'm afraid she's already sent to someone. Last night I got a friend request from some random woman with a cat as her profile photo. The name was vaguely familiar but we had no friends in common and generally I have a bad feeling about people on Facebook who don't use photos of themselves. So I intended to ignore. But I'd had a few drinks and I must have accepted by mistake because she appeared in my timeline! I checked her profile and she has shitloads of photos of My Actor posted on there! First I though 'fuck, what are the odds!' But then it started to fall into place - the reason her name is familiar is because she is practically his stalker! He mentioned her after she turned up at an event and asked to have her photo taken with him again (she's had her photo taken with him something like 3 times already). She sends him dozens of letters a month and runs a page in his name on Facebook. Not unlike my mate's girlfriend (possibly ex girlfriend by now) she supposedly comes across as quite harmless but because of the sheer volume of letters and the number of attempts she's made to meet him, she has been flagged by his agent and their keeping an eye on her letters etc in case she goes psycho!

I don't see how she could know about me. And I'm terrified it's not a coincidence this has happened now.
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#5
There's a soundtrack for this.........


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#6
What a conundrum! I'm curious though: Before jumping into full panic mode, does the pic clearly show your BF and your faces? If not it might be ok. If so, I wonder how could you not notice that cheeky cow taking a full face picture right in front of you? But that's beside the point since it's already been done.

The "stalker" lady could have sent you the request based on the fact that you're in your bf's circle. So she sent you a friend request because she saw this photo and somehow found out your name by combing through your BF's profile?

I guess if it's out on the net there's not much you could do about it. Perhaps ask your BF to reach out to his publicist ASAP to figure out some communication plans if he's famous enough. If it's not on the net yet, like the others mentioned, insist your friend to delete that picture from his GF's phone. If he's really a true friend he should do it, and probably advise your friend to rethink this girl. She clearly has little regard to his BF's friend's privacy.
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#7
This is no longer your problem. This is a problem for your actor/FB's lawyers. Tell your actor/FB everything.
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#8
Yeah... she is out of line!
Get your roomate, Her, Your closeted actor bang bud and a cop in the same room.
Tell the police officer you suspect blackmail..

Harsh?
Why is she keeping that photo?
The minute you get that photo (hopefully she didn't share it)
She needs to go!
It's time your actor bud came out ?
Things would have been so different if he was.
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#9
mvoco Wrote:I think it might be too late.
I don't know where to begin... SECRETS AND LIES PEOPLE.... SECRETS AND LIES! You want to have a happy, uncomplicated, drama free life, you can't HAVE Secrets and Lies, let alone LIVE them.

Beyond that, I agree with [MENTION=20941]Camfer[/MENTION], tell the actor to get his lawyers into this right now... and if need be, as [MENTION=21156]Anocxu[/MENTION] said, the police.

Meanwhile, OP, you need to begin asking yourself WHY you have so much drama in your life... is this what you want? It sure as hell is beginning to look like it to me.
.
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#10
So...you got back together with the closeted celebrity, and let your best friend who you agree should never be your roommate move in with you, and made out with closeted celebrity somewhere besides behind a locked door nobody can access, and drunkenly added-by-mistake the celebrity's stalker on Facebook...

...and it didn't turn out well? Who could've possibly foreseen?

The photo is hers. To do with as she sees fit. She took it in a home she was welcome in, in a place that she was (presumedly) allowed to be in. She's not blackmailing anybody - she didn't ask for money or recompense for the photo. She can post it online, send it to the tabloids, whatever.

mvoco Wrote:?..and yea, its still complicated.

Ain't it?

Lex
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