02-12-2015, 03:29 AM
Sorry this is so long, I need to get this off my chest as I donât know what to do anymore. Iâve gotten myself into the biggest dilemma of my life and itâs literally making me sick. Iâve been in a relationship with my husband for 10 years. Weâve been married 5. When I agreed to be his BF, I didnât find him physically attractive. I thought physical attraction would grow eventually but Iâve never gained any. I love him but in a platonic way, heâs basically my twin to the point weâve been called brothers. We have sex once a week and when we do itâs usually just assisted jerking off. I feel no desire to kiss him or show him much affection but I do care for him deeply.
I moved in with him to get away from my parents but Iâve never had the guts to end it. Iâve noticed a pattern that has repeated itself in 2009, in 2011 and now. I start feeling depressed, I think something is missing and question our relationship. It bubbles up to a breaking point, either I talk to a therapist, we make changes or even worse in 2011 I cheated on him. I forget needing attraction and he seems fine. Itâs like a convenience relationship.
He have a nice house and stable life, everything should be perfect. Damn attraction, why oh why is it missing! I donât know what to do anymore. I canât keep doing this. Itâs not fair to him or me. I want him to feel the need to dissolve this marriage too but I donât know how. Iâve feared spending the rest of my life alone, never connecting with someone again. As an introvert I donât have many friends and fear not getting along with another partner. Frankly at this point I feel no relationship is better than one formed out of convenience.
I need a strategy to gradually bring this issue to his attention. I know it will take months but it needs to be done. I also need to find people I can talk to. Finding and keeping friends, a completely different problem for me.
Would it make sense to start doing more activities without him? Becoming more obvious in my daily jerking off without him? Calling out other guys I find attractive?
My parents lived in a romanceless marriage, I canât drink myself to death like they did.
I moved in with him to get away from my parents but Iâve never had the guts to end it. Iâve noticed a pattern that has repeated itself in 2009, in 2011 and now. I start feeling depressed, I think something is missing and question our relationship. It bubbles up to a breaking point, either I talk to a therapist, we make changes or even worse in 2011 I cheated on him. I forget needing attraction and he seems fine. Itâs like a convenience relationship.
He have a nice house and stable life, everything should be perfect. Damn attraction, why oh why is it missing! I donât know what to do anymore. I canât keep doing this. Itâs not fair to him or me. I want him to feel the need to dissolve this marriage too but I donât know how. Iâve feared spending the rest of my life alone, never connecting with someone again. As an introvert I donât have many friends and fear not getting along with another partner. Frankly at this point I feel no relationship is better than one formed out of convenience.
I need a strategy to gradually bring this issue to his attention. I know it will take months but it needs to be done. I also need to find people I can talk to. Finding and keeping friends, a completely different problem for me.
Would it make sense to start doing more activities without him? Becoming more obvious in my daily jerking off without him? Calling out other guys I find attractive?
My parents lived in a romanceless marriage, I canât drink myself to death like they did.