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I made it!
#1
First of all, long time no see guys, been away for many months but here i am again. Nice to see you all.

So it was a sunday night (8 of june) and i had promised myself to come out before being 22 (in an attempt to stop wasting time) since my birthday is on 9th of june i had only 20 minutes left to tell my mom. I choose my mom because i have been with her for so long (she is not independent as part of surgical sequels of a brain tumor) every single day for the last 6 years.

I was about to give up once more on the idea of coming out but then a cousin of mine, my only familiar who knew i was gay and knew i was suppossed to come out before my birthday sent me a message asking me if i was alredy out.

That was it, the little push i needed. So i went to my moms room and sat by her bed. She was hearing music and we started chating as we often do.

After some minutes of me trying to steer the conversation somewhere near the issue she said "son you want to tell me something, so go ahead and say it" after me trying to put a serious face i finally managed to babble a very timid "im gay".

She was shocked, because she didnt expected me being gay, so i started answering her questions about my homosexuality and i could see she was making allright.

So we talked for 2 hours until it was very late (2 am) and i went to sleep.

The next day she was ok and at night i went out to celebrate my birthday but when i came back my brother greeted me and asked me to talk with him. My mom outed me with my brother o,o

I didnt expected that. She wanted to ask my brother if i was joking.

So i had to tell my brother what i had told my mom. And i saw him crying for the first time in 15 years. He kept saying that he had always dreamt of having nephews and telling me he didnt know me at all.

It was hard and that was only tuesday.

So after a couple of days both my mother and brother have settled a lot. They no longer sob around the house and start making jokes. Both of them keep telling me they love me but fear my life will be very hard in this country.

Its monday now and everything seems ok, except for the fact that they want me to be discreet, i dont want to be discrete. For me being discrete equals being in the closet.

I mean i dont want to parade downtown. But i want to date guys, kiss in the park and all that stuff.

Also i have to tell my dad, both my mother and brother told me not to tell him, basically because right now his back is hurt and he isnt feeling too good, so they say its not the "right time".

What should i do about the discrete thing? I want to date and stuff not keep hiding away. Thx guys
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#2
Hi Festino, nice to see you back at GaySpeak.

Congratulations on your coming-out to your Mother & Brother.

Your family is worried about you --afraid that if the wrong people find out you're gay --- these people will harass or attack you... That's why they want you to be discreet. Let your family know that you understand their fear and will be cautious.

Sincerely,
Jim
We Have Elvis !!
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#3
Welcome Back.....

Congrats!

I think you should tell him and let the chips fall where they may. When I met my current lover he hadn't told his family and for me...that was a dealbreaker and I let him know. He obliged and told his mom and sister right away but they told him not to tell Dad because it would "kill him".....

Uhh......what a horrible thing to say to someone. I told him it was a horrible thing to say to someone....and I told him why. He went out and told his dad minutes later...his dad said noting...just smiled....

His dad didn't die after he told him...didn't have any effect on him at all.

Good luck!
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#4
Grats! My mum "outed" me too, so I guess that's just how chatty mums deal with the news.

Coming out to your dad and your neighbourhood is your choice and you shouldn't let your mum or brother dictate how out you are.
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