03-15-2014, 10:06 PM
Iâm gay man, very desperate and unhappy about something that has happened in my life. My boyfriend and me, weâre together for 6 years. It was the happiest time of my life, because Iâve finally met a wonderful and beautiful person, someone that Iâm ready to share my life with. We were talking about marriage for a long time and finally decided to do it this summer. We also wanted to adopt a baby, to have a real family. And I wouldâve never thought that something like this might happen to us, but few months ago my boyfriend had an accident in his job and now heâs in the hospital. He has serious spinal trauma and heâs paralyzed from hips down, he cannot move or feel his legs. He still has a surgery in front of him when they will try to fix his spine, but actually doctors told us that the probability that this surgery will be successful is slight and thereâs a big possibility he wonât be able to walk again for the rest of his life.
These news were a big shock to me, to his family and of course most of all to him himself. Heâs just 26 years old, he has his whole life in front of him and itâll be horrible if heâll have to stay in the wheelchair. Heâs depressed, he barely eats and sleeps. Well, at least he has stopped crying, when he first realized he cannot move his legs, he was crying his eyes out, which is a normal reaction, I think. Now heâs receiving some medicaments to calm him down a bit. Weâre all here, his family and me, and weâre caring for him as much as we can. I came to the hospital every day, sometimes I even stayed with him overnight. I tried to cheer him up and sometimes it looked like I managed to do it. He started to smile and even laugh, but every day it was harder and harder to make him smile.
And what is breaking my heart the most - he wants to break up with me. I came to visit him one day and he told me that heâs letting me go. First I didnât understand what he means, but then he said that he wonât allow me to waste my life on being together with a cripple. He told me to go away and find myself a healthy man. When I didnât listen, he yelled at me to get lost and was like âif you come here one more time, Iâll ask the doctors not to let you in.â I donât understand why is he like this. Now he needs me more than ever and he knows it. Iâve never had such thoughts. When I found out about what has happened with him, Iâve never had even the smallest thought about breaking up. I love him more than anything in the world and the fact that he might stay paralyzed, doesnât change my feelings for him one little bit. I realize that our life will change a lot now and lots of things will be different and probably more complicated, but together we can make it, thatâs why weâre a couple. Weâre supposed to face the bad things as well.
I havenât been in the hospital for a few days now, Iâve talked to his mother instead. She tells me that heâs suffering a lot more, doesnât want to talk to anyone and still believes he has done the right thing â break up with me so I could meet someone else. I donât need anyone else, I need him. Heâs the person I want to spend my life with. Iâm ready to care for him and do anything he needs, I want to do it, not because of duty, but because of love. His mother asks me to come visit him and I want it so much, but maybe I should respect his wish?
These news were a big shock to me, to his family and of course most of all to him himself. Heâs just 26 years old, he has his whole life in front of him and itâll be horrible if heâll have to stay in the wheelchair. Heâs depressed, he barely eats and sleeps. Well, at least he has stopped crying, when he first realized he cannot move his legs, he was crying his eyes out, which is a normal reaction, I think. Now heâs receiving some medicaments to calm him down a bit. Weâre all here, his family and me, and weâre caring for him as much as we can. I came to the hospital every day, sometimes I even stayed with him overnight. I tried to cheer him up and sometimes it looked like I managed to do it. He started to smile and even laugh, but every day it was harder and harder to make him smile.
And what is breaking my heart the most - he wants to break up with me. I came to visit him one day and he told me that heâs letting me go. First I didnât understand what he means, but then he said that he wonât allow me to waste my life on being together with a cripple. He told me to go away and find myself a healthy man. When I didnât listen, he yelled at me to get lost and was like âif you come here one more time, Iâll ask the doctors not to let you in.â I donât understand why is he like this. Now he needs me more than ever and he knows it. Iâve never had such thoughts. When I found out about what has happened with him, Iâve never had even the smallest thought about breaking up. I love him more than anything in the world and the fact that he might stay paralyzed, doesnât change my feelings for him one little bit. I realize that our life will change a lot now and lots of things will be different and probably more complicated, but together we can make it, thatâs why weâre a couple. Weâre supposed to face the bad things as well.
I havenât been in the hospital for a few days now, Iâve talked to his mother instead. She tells me that heâs suffering a lot more, doesnât want to talk to anyone and still believes he has done the right thing â break up with me so I could meet someone else. I donât need anyone else, I need him. Heâs the person I want to spend my life with. Iâm ready to care for him and do anything he needs, I want to do it, not because of duty, but because of love. His mother asks me to come visit him and I want it so much, but maybe I should respect his wish?