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My friend is such an asshole
#1
So you remember this one friend I told you about when he left me after I asked him to lend me some money and never gave it to me...

SO I just let it drop and let go. We hung out sometimes but after that idk, I mean he acts normal and everything and it's like nothing is happening but it is just the fact that he is slowly pulling himself out of my life. Like he doesn't message me like he used to before.. He doesn't get back to me when I message him or call him and he is leaving on vacation soon and I am having the feeling that he might not contact me to say goodbye or whatever, but you never know.

and to be honest, I am still upset with him deep down but haven't confronted him about how I feel. We used to be close but idk what got into him and made him this way or maybe he has been like this all along and I just never seen it until time has revealed everything.
I don't think I trust him or rely on him anymore.. and I don't feel like he could be a good friend to me. Yes, he is really nice, a good listener and whatever but it is this dark thing about him that he is nice this minute but then he flips or switches the other minute. I mean, it is creepy sometimes. Another thing is that he puts himself before everything which makes sense but not to the point that if I had an emergency and I needed him and he was busy that he wouldn't be there for me. I feel like if we were both on a sinking ship, he would kick me off just so that he would survive instead of us both trying to figure out a solution together.
It does show that I care because I don't take it well when I am used to someone being this way to me and then changing without alerts or heads up.. It is just FUCKED UP.

I could tell him to fuck off, I just need him because I can practice my french with him. So I don't know.. What do you think? Take advantage of him (Even though it feels wrong) or just not talk to him anymore seeing I feel this way about him.
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#2
You've made a decently lengthy post going on about everything that's wrong about him. Then you make one line saying you need him for French practice.

This pro con list of sorts that you've made should be very clear.

Why are you still in this friendship? You know, there are other ways to practice French. Just saying.
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
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#3
The key to friendship is balance. You should make this friend as important to you to the same degree as he finds you important to him. Then no one is using anyone, no one wants more from the other than he is able to give, and it all feels right to each person.

There are levels of friends. This is a casual friend. No problem getting together on occasion and speaking French if you both want to do that.
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#4
Ok so... I've been away for awhile, so I haven't read probably a good number of your previous posts on this topic. So, if I inadvertently end up shoving my foot in my mouth, please forgive me yeah?

1) NEVER ask friends or boyfriends for money. I don't care what the situation is, just don't do it. It changes the dynamic of a relationship and can seriously fuck it up (as it sounds like you're experiencing first hand).

2) Aside from that, from everything that was written here? It sounds like he's decided to redefine your relationship as "acquaintance" status, instead of a friendship. You don't really get a choice in this matter, it's -his- choice to make and it definitely sounds like he's made it.

3) French practice. I would say either accept him as an acquaintance (and nothing more) and still practice with him. OR, find someone else (possibly someone online you can Skype with or something?) to practice with. He's not your only option for a study partner, even if you want him to be your only option so that you have an excuse to hold on to him.
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#5
Insertnamehere Wrote:You've made a decently lengthy post going on about everything that's wrong about him. Then you make one line saying you need him for French practice.

This pro con list of sorts that you've made should be very clear.

Why are you still in this friendship? You know, there are other ways to practice French. Just saying.

Well when you say it like that... You have a point!

thank you for making it pretty clear to me
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#6
TwisttheLeaf Wrote:Ok so... I've been away for awhile, so I haven't read probably a good number of your previous posts on this topic. So, if I inadvertently end up shoving my foot in my mouth, please forgive me yeah?

1) NEVER ask friends or boyfriends for money. I don't care what the situation is, just don't do it. It changes the dynamic of a relationship and can seriously fuck it up (as it sounds like you're experiencing first hand).

2) Aside from that, from everything that was written here? It sounds like he's decided to redefine your relationship as "acquaintance" status, instead of a friendship. You don't really get a choice in this matter, it's -his- choice to make and it definitely sounds like he's made it.

3) French practice. I would say either accept him as an acquaintance (and nothing more) and still practice with him. OR, find someone else (possibly someone online you can Skype with or something?) to practice with. He's not your only option for a study partner, even if you want him to be your only option so that you have an excuse to hold on to him.

Yeah, you're actually right. That's his social life and he can do whatever he wants with it. Thing is though, I just wish I had heads up for this kind of thing ... It doesn't matter anyway.

As for french, you have a point.. It is stupid of me to just want HIM while there are like 902039484095 people who speak french out there haha
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#7
Update: he left on vacation without saying goodbye. Which pretty much sums up everything
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#8
[MENTION=21000]verysimple[/MENTION]

I reckon you were venting to us, so that's ok.

I guess what you can say for certain is that people can change and you don't have much control over the matter.

It sucks, but it's best to move on.
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
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#9
Insertnamehere Wrote:[MENTION=21000]verysimple[/MENTION]

I reckon you were venting to us, so that's ok.

I guess what you can say for certain is that people can change and you don't have much control over the matter.

It sucks, but it's best to move on.

Meh, It's whatever really ... I already moved on so I'm good, thank you!
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