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Iron Rose
#1
Hi all Smile

So I started working on a novel called "Iron Rose" a few months ago. It is a Romance Drama that looks at the issue of acceptance in relation to LGBT people. I haven't had a great chance to do much work/editing on it but it's starting to take shape. Let me fill you in...

Love is complicated. Zac, a teenager at Rosewood High, is stuck between right and wrong. His boyfriend. Daniel, is the happiest thing that could have ever happened to him, but his father it turns out is strongly against homosexuality. Only his mother is keeping them all together, but it's slowly tearing their lives apart. Will their love stay strong whilst keeping the family together, or will it all come tumbling down? The following few weeks will never be the same again.

Explanation of the title (Spoilers if you want it to remain a mystery :eekSmile:
Spoiler:



As for the story itself, I'll post the first part of the first chapter (I'm not even on chapter two yet lol, but there's like seven pages already), and if you guys want to read more I'll happily post more. So let me know what you think! It's a work-in-progress and starts off slow, so don't be expecting too much detail on the actual storyline just yet - it's mostly just hints and references in this first part Wink
I've spoilered it so it doesn't spam the page. You're welcome. Smile

And finally, enjoy! :biggrin:
Spoiler:
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#2
The hidden content window won't stay open for me???

Remember to write what you know and to keep the characters fresh and believable!
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#3
Rareboy is right. The hidden content doesn't stay open
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#4
Weird - it won't stay open for me either. Are the spoilers normally meant to do that here? The spoilers I use on another forum normally stay open. I'll see if I can post it some other way.

Edit: I can't seem to edit the post. Can the mods work their magic to fix it?
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#5
Wow. Sounds like a campion piece to MY gay novel called The Copper Sheriff's Badge.
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#6
Really? Haha, sounds like a coincidence. Hopefully they're not too similar! Tongue
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#7
Hooray for mod magic! :biggrin:

The spoilers should be working now. Let me know if you want to see more!

Thanks Andy Wink
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#8
One word.

Paragraphs.


While you clearly can compose visually and sensually rich images.....the wall of words means that some of these jewels get lost in the setting.

Also......

Also, every writer needs a good editor...but we also need to consider how every word advances our narrative....and then toss away the words that get in the way. Even stream of consciousness thinking....ie:

Quote:I rinse my hair first, plucking out loose bits of dandruff, hair or old dead skin. I’ll need some conditioner too, I thought, but we are out. I’ll have to tell mum to tell dad.

Somehow this act and the random thought about running out of conditioner need to resound at a later point in the story or the reader is left thinking that the writer is just filling up pages with words.
You also set up some confusion for the reader here. First there is a reference to some great conflict with the father but suddenly he's the only one who is capable of buying a hair care product and you are referring to your parents as mum and dad.

It is excellent exercise for writers to record and play with the images of ordinary events like washing our hair..... composing phrases rich in adjectives, adverbs, similes and metaphor is the equivalent of a singer warming up before an aria.

But when it comes time to capture the moment on the page....keep your prose light and spare....only keep the words that excite a reader's anticipation in order to draw them through the scene. You want to have the reader empathize and/or sympathize with.... or even be provoked by the motivation and action of the characters. You don't want the reader to feel like an indifferent observer and to have their eye and attention skip through the scene.

The one thing you will want to play with but in a subtle way is the dichotomy between the elements in your title and to consider their entire life cycles as you are working with the imagery they afford in your prose.

Keep writing. We all will be waiting for more!
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#9
Nit-picking, I know, but "the following weeks will never be the same."? Are the weeks different from before they characters got into a time machine and changed them? Js...
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#10
Beaux Wrote:Nit-picking, I know, but "the following weeks will never be the same."? Are the weeks different from before they characters got into a time machine and changed them? Js...

Puzzled me too.

"His boyfriend. Daniel, (..)" is the fullstop meant to be a comma?
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