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Is it ok to date a man much older than you?
#31
I'm very quiet person and I don't do clubbing or stuff. I like him as as person and as a man, he's handsome, and actually it never feels like there's some gap between us, he always understands me, he's not old fashioned, he's very liberal, he never makes me feel bad. But when I think about these two numbers, I see that it's very much and probably too much ever for two people who like each other.
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#32
gilhooly Wrote:As a librarian at a university library, I knew and talked to young gay men. I enjoyed talking immensely. I never asked to have sex because they were having or contemplating sex. I enjoyed being like a trusted father figure and gave advice.

Relationships with younger guys are attractive to me when they want help or advice. At 68, I lost my virginity 58 years ago. I have had a lot of gay relationships. One was monumental and I love talking about him to anyone.

Be completely truthful and tell him how you feel. I bet he may just enjoy talking to you. Working at a university always made me feel young. Lots of people hanging out and bullshitting each other. I prefer sex with men my own age. But young guys do get my heart beating. I love attention at my age.

Don't lie. You will fuck things up. He is old enough to accept the truth. If he wants you to lie, he is an asshole to be avoided. Currently, I have a high school student who loves to ask me questions about my cousin, John Lennon. I enjoy talking family stuff.

John Good luck!!!!
What the fuck Gil... can you just give your opinion without mentioning a famous character... honestly those people pee and shit the very same way we all do... What's so amazing about them that you need to mention them all the time? If J Lennon was your cousin... how about you start proving us all that shit by bringing forward your genealogy tree?
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#33
Anonymous Wrote:I'm very quiet person and I don't do clubbing or stuff. I like him as as person and as a man, he's handsome, and actually it never feels like there's some gap between us, he always understands me, he's not old fashioned, he's very liberal, he never makes me feel bad. But when I think about these two numbers, I see that it's very much and probably too much ever for two people who like each other.

Right regardless of age what do YOU want? Have you been with guys before or would he be the first? Is he also the only gay guy you speak to?
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
[/COLOR]
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#34
Anonymous Wrote:I'm very quiet person and I don't do clubbing or stuff. I like him as as person and as a man, he's handsome, and actually it never feels like there's some gap between us, he always understands me, he's not old fashioned, he's very liberal, he never makes me feel bad. But when I think about these two numbers, I see that it's very much and probably too much ever for two people who like each other.

So you do have a problem with the age gap... may you reconsider this relationship so none of you get emotionally hurt. You may respect him and LIKE him but you fear JUDGEMENTS (not from people) but your OWN. You might want to think this through a little more because there will be one man who'd be destroyed by this adventure... It's not him! He's old enough to get over it. But you will need some years to go through all that. Just think it through.
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#35
No, I've never been with guys before. I've spoken with gay people before, but nothing more. Maybe my lack of experience is the thing to blame.
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#36
Anonymous Wrote:No, I've never been with guys before. I've spoken with gay people before, but nothing more. Maybe my lack of experience is the thing to blame.

Anom please describes LOVE... what is your stands on it and what do you understand of it?
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#37
Anonymous Wrote:No, I've never been with guys before. I've spoken with gay people before, but nothing more. Maybe my lack of experience is the thing to blame.

I wouldn't use the word blame. Life is about learning. I would just want you to be SURE about what you do - you are young you got time to meet someone. If you do honestly like this guy then see where it goes, but if there is any doubt I'd say no. Like what Jake said he may be able to deal with this better due to his age - you are still young and I think it would hit you harder. How do you honestly feel?
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
[/COLOR]
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#38
I don't know how I feel, sometimes it feels like I'm not sure of anything. Sometimes I think that he might be the best for me, as he's older and been through a lot in life and it might be better than someone who's of me age and don't understand a thing.

About love....I'm not sure if I know what does love feel like. I don't think I love someone, maybe I'm not even able to do it.
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#39
Anonymous Wrote:I don't know how I feel, sometimes it feels like I'm not sure of anything. Sometimes I think that he might be the best for me, as he's older and been through a lot in life and it might be better than someone who's of me age and don't understand a thing.

About love....I'm not sure if I know what does love feel like. I don't think I love someone, maybe I'm not even able to do it.

You're 18 years old you have decades left to explore and learn things - you don't need to get with someone 30+ years older than you just because they've experienced it. We don't learn much from other peoples mistakes just how to dodge what they did wrong but doesn't mean we won't slip up again! We learn more from doing the mistakes ourselves.

The bonus dating someone your age is you are going to experience similar things at similar times meaning you'd be there for each other and can lean on each other. Yes this guy may have experienced it but will he know more than what someone going through it at the same time would? :p Plus you have to realise the difference in time means the whole experience will change.

I sound really against this I know haha - but I know for some people it works like Cuddly, he really couldn't be happier. Theres an age gap with him and it works. Just from the limited posts I've read from you I don't think you would be happy.. it sounds like you're just settling if I'm honest.

Love again is a weird thing.. you are only 18 :p I can honestly say I think I've been IN love but I'll never really be 100% sure. I love people but it isn't the same as being IN love.

You have age on your side. Don't stress about things just be happy Smile
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
[/COLOR]
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#40
IF I were to date a man that much older than me, he would be 80 (I'm 48).

So yeah, for me there is something wrong. And that relationship isn't going to last long... perhaps his wealth will make up for his 'untimely death'?

But on the other hand it should make the whole 'until death do us part' thing more manageable.... Ironically there is no legal way to murder ones spouse. Stupid laws and Vows.

At your age... IDK he is 50, he is slowing down now, the libido is steadily lowering, fatigue comes easier... There is no way he can keep up with you in many ways... Do you want to be a caregiver in your 30's /40's?
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