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Is there anyone who got married with a man?
#1
hi to all,

Lately I really wonder that how perfect or disaster a marriage between 2 men can be. Maybe not now, but in the future I will want to get married. I know it is impossible in Turkey. Even if there are many countries who let this marriage, I have some concerns. I do not know whether I will be relax or not if I get married.

For example, my friend told me gay villages in Canada. I can live there but I do not want to have only gay friends, or gay life. I need also friends who are straight. I may want to live with my partner in a house with also gay or straight neighbours. I do not want to be separeted form others just because I am gay. All in all, I want to have life like, david and keith in six feet under, or Mitchell and Cameron in modern family, or Kevin in brothers and sister Big Grin I know I may want to too much things. But I just want to have a normal life. I may also be afraid of dying alone Sad Death does not scares me but being alone scares me a lot Sad

Here are the questions: Where can I achieve my goals? Is there anyone who has achieved those? If so, how are their lives and what kind of problems did they have to get over?
#2
Gay Bi or Straight relationships will all have there problem when your married, its just part of the facts of life. If there is someone you know that has a perfect marriage then let us all know because I think the world would love to know their secrets.

On living a normal life as a gay person should not be any different then a straight couple, you have to choose where you want to live and then live. Now choosing a place to live depends on what your taste are but in the states I would avoid what we call the bible belt and maybe some redneck towns in the west to midwest. But places like New York California Florida that have big cities to mid size cities most people are open to having gay people around them.
#3
slokara Wrote:I really wonder that how perfect or disaster a marriage between 2 men can be. ... I have some concerns. I do not know whether I will be relax or not if I get married ...
Here are the questions: Where can I achieve my goals?

So were your parents married? Their relationship will set your standards for your husband.

relationships are the same gay or straight.
#4
The gay village in Montreal isn't really populated exclusively by gay people, it more gets its name from being the centre of gay operated and targeted businesses and entertainment spots. Although, there is a somewhat higher concentration of gay people living in that neighbourhood, gay people live all over the city. I don't even think that many gay people actually live around Church Street in Toronto either.
When a subject is highly controversial — and any question about sex is that — one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold. One can only give one's audience the chance of drawing their own conclusions as they observe the limitations, the prejudices, the idiosyncrasies of the speaker.
- Virginia Woolf
#5
Yeah, my Mum did. Wink
Still wondering what I'll be when I grow up.
#6
pellaz Wrote:So were your parents married? Their relationship will set your standards for your husband.

relationships are the same gay or straight.

Yes, I want my life like my mum and father's. And I know these problems are common for every marriage.
#7
slokara Wrote:Where can I achieve my goals?
Its harsh but; gay marriage will never be allowed in istanbul, so its a combination of finding a gay friendly country and one that your visa has access to. The US has only a hand full of states
Its important to live in an environment that you personally can flourish in, if possible.

slokara Wrote:Is there anyone who has achieved those?
same sex marriage is not allowed where I live
#8
Legally we ain't married. But we have been together for 15 years, and have domestic partnership papers and other legal papers that afford us many of the same rights as married folk. I believe California just over turned Prop 8 and may be heading to legalized homo-marriage. I don't know and I don't care, I doubt we will get married because I am against the idea that its not retroactive. After all I just hit the 15 year mark and getting married now will feel like the past 15 years ceases to count.

We do not live in a gay ghetto. We actually live out on 40th and plumb - 40 miles from nowhere plumb out in the sticks :tongue:

While we do have gay friends and do occasionally visit the city folk, we have a lot of straight friends and live in a straight 'neighborhood' if you can call our more or less rural area a neighborhood. We live on two acres, while the neighbor to the south lives on ten and the one directly to the north has 1, but his neighbor lives on 12-15.

He works for Target presently (DHL laid of tens of thousands in 2008-09, he lost his job of 10 years). I am self employed as a 'general contractor' which is to say handy man since I don't really take on huge construction projects nor do I have a permanent list of employees. Very mundane and 'straight'.

Being gay doesn't mean you have to move to a gay village/ghetto. Its doesn't mean you have to have a sense of fashion and know what taupe and teal is, it doesn't mean you have to just stick with gay people.

Around here there is actually a fairly large 'gay' community. LGBT who live in the rural area. We are slightly different in that the majority are predominately 'straight-acting', and we only have the one local gay bar/club to go to. Other than that we are all pretty much as gay as the city folk are. Wink
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[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

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#9
Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum and look forward to getting acquitted with many of you. After my introduction, this is my first post. The marriage issue of the thread appealed to me.

My husband and I have been legally married in the State of New Hampshire (USA) for over two years. Prior to that New Hampshire allowed for same sex civil unions and we took advantage of that too in 2008. We have been a couple for nearly 14 years.

One of you mentioned that your parent’s marriage may set the standards for your own marriage and that was certainly the case for me. I grew up a very happy home with parents that truly loved each other very much. My father was best my friend growing up and I looked up to his example for how treat your spouse. My mother was very ill for the last twenty years of her life and he was by her side every minute right to the end. I wanted that kind of love in my life, but I wondered if it would ever be possible as a gay man.

A am now 51 years old and grew up at a time where the idea that a gay man could even let anyone know he was gay was unbelievable, but times change. In my case, I was in the right place at the right time. I grew up in the Los Angeles area and by the late 1970’s the gay rights movement was in full swing. I came of age at just the right time. At age 20 I moved to San Francisco and lived an open gay life. I have been completely open about being gay at work since 1979. I met my husband in 1998 in San Francisco and I knew immediately, he was the one for me. With him I could share the kind of love and commitment my parents had.

Soon after meeting we knew we wanted our own home and more privacy. This was not possible in the San Francisco area unless you were wealthy, so we looked elsewhere and found that New Hampshire fit the bill. The New England states are known for the liberal and progressive attitudes and least religious people in the nation. It was perfect fit. We now have a lovely home on two acres of land. The neighbors are all straight but after ten years they know we are couple but they don’t seem to mind and we are friendly with all of them. There are a few gay associations in the area and we have loads of gay friends. Everyone at work knows I am gay and in a relationship. They even gave me party and wedding gifts. So Slokara, yes it is possible for some gay men to have the kind of marriage they are looking for. However I know you are in a different culture and place than me. When I was 13 years old and recognized I was gay, I was terrified at my prospects for a happy life. Now I am living my dream. I do hope your circumstances change any you can find it too. I wish you the best.
#10
SF2NH, i am so happy for you mate. May you have a happy life ahead with your lucky partner. I wish everyone of us finds his perfect mate so that life becomes a dream.


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