Let him go... ?

[AbelD]

Hello! I need your advice about one thing...

Last year on summer I met a guy on Grindr, he told me that he was married with another guy, but that they have a open relationship. He's from England but he has a second home in my town. We were talking a lot on WhatsApp but we didn't met, and we stopped talking.
But well, this year he talked to me on WhatsApp, in April. I didn't know who was talking to me, and he sent me a photo of him.

So well we talked a bit and he told me that he was alone here.. He invited me to his house and we had sex, and the next day he invited me for a dinner and then we went to his house and again we had sex.. And we were have having dates in April, he invited me for a dinner many times, we slept together, watched a movie on his computer, and well everyday we met we had sex and also we talked about everything. He went for a holidays with his husband and he came back to Sitges, again alone, and we also had dates with dinners and sleeping together.
He came back to England and when he came back to my city he went with his husband.. And everything has changed

We had a few dates, but we haven't had again a dinner or sleep together.. And I undertand this thing.. But the point is when we talk on WhatsApp he's very cold, and 'bland', I mean I don't really feel wanted by him and I'm not sure if he really wants me or what.. And since he came back the first time with his husband I felt this way..
Sometimes when we are talking he takes hours to reply (while he's online) and sometimes we are talking and he leaves WhatsApp and he don't come back online until a few hours when I know that he always have his phone -.-
And well the last week he came to my city but we didn't see eachother, and the last one before that we had also the same problem.. And I was a bit upset because he didn't say anything like: 'What a shame we didn't see eachother'.. But today he text me on WhatsApp: we haven't see eachother in a while, Im sorry. Do u still want to see me when I go back to your town? Is everything ok? And well, I told him this:
   
   
   
See? So Im not sure if I should keep talking and having dates with him.
I don't know if keep trying or just forget about him. When I'm with him everything is perfect but online he's a such IDIOT. So, should I let him go?
PS: sorry for my bad english!

[Chas]

No, don't keep having dates with him. You sound like you're wanting someone that you can't really have, now the husband is visiting the country with him your sex with this guy has stopped.

Open relationship or not, you were a thing on the side for him and you need to accept that this guys agenda is/was nothing more then sex when it came to being with you regardless of the chats you've had with him in the past.

In other words, move on from him and find someone not attached to someone else.

[Geminize]

I agree with Chas, let him go. Of course, it depends on what you want from your friendship. If you want to be the younger guy that is available for sex and to keep him from feeling lonely when his husband is away, then keep seeing him. But be honest with yourself that you will only see him when it is convenient for him.

If you want more from a relationship (and I hope you do), then I suggest it's time to end this one.

[AbelD]

Aww, thank guys... I exploited.. We talked a little bit more, I told him why I don't feel 'wanted' and he just told me a few things.. And well, I could not controle myself and I told him everything I think.. Not really sure if I did the right thing:

'Maybe I've read too much psychology;
I think you're changing your work because you don't feel really happy with yourself and maybe you think that your work is the problem that why you don't feel 'full'
I don't really think you love your husband as much as you think and I also think that he doesn't love you.
Before you said 'one of his strange trip back' and I was about to say a joke: his lovers from there are missing him
I think you should care more about yourself
I think you should fine someone who really love u and someone who won't take advantage of you, and also someone that really makes u happy'

If I don't hear about him again I guess that I deserve it :/

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Why on earth would you put yourself in the place as the 'other woman'?

He wants you to be a good port of call booty call - this doesn't mean love, it means convenience for him, something he can have a little fun with when not at home.

Why are you trying to be a lover? Keep in your place.

He may not have made that perfectly clear by being as blunt as me, but everything you said thus far makes it clear he made clear to you that he is 'married' and wanted something on the side only.

Besides its Grind'r - grind'r is for sex only.

[AbelD]

Lol, I know D: But it's hard you know... Btw I followed your advices and when he talked to me I was very 'bland'

[pellaz]

guilt dosnt flow down hill. Dont be a part of this but only for your own good.

what ever was happening bad in their relationship fixed it self and they are back on track. Sounds like you two guys communicate. tell him this and say you want to accept his as your friend.