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Light (C)
#1
Oh look,
Over there,
Shining brightly,
Illuminating your hair,
What is that little light?
It damn well is shining bright.

It burns.
The pain,
It burns
My brain.
This little light in my eye,
It's willing me,
It wants me to die.

I fight.
I fight.
I fight.
The light,
So bright,
Is gone.
I won.
I think.
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#2
Damn you're good.Was the poem literally about a light or is it an abstract reference to a psychological matter?You have anymore poems?
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#3
Sweet! welcome to GS btw. Confusedmile:
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#4
Dan1089 Wrote:You have anymore poems?

Yes, that was sweet... would love to read some more Bouncer
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#5
I wrote a poem,
You asked for more,
I decided that I
Would write some for sure.

As I have said, it passes the time,
Trying to think up the perfect rhyme.


The Quiet River

I look out my window,
And when I look,
I see a stream,
And the willow on the brook.

The way the water dodges the tree,
Nature working in harmony.
The tips of branches stay submerged,
But the tips of branches are unurged.

Floating along comes a piece of litter,
Blocking the way the water doth glitter,
I go out to pick up the packet,
The ducks will be scarce if I make a racket.

The watter is shallow,
So shallow you see,
I pick up the rubbish
And the river is free.
In the small depth
I didn't assume
That there would be a strong current
In my garden lagoon.

I trip on a stone,
I've scared off the ducks,
Maybe next time,
I'll have better luck.



I welcome any feedback, all in all it makes me better if i know wat's wrong, was using 'doth' in the 10th line going too far? ty xx
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#6
The world sure is a fickle thing,
Some people rock it,
Others will sing,
'One Hand In My Pocket',
Or some other thing.

It's confusing,
It's astounding,
It's a crazy place to be found in.

It's always different,
It's crazy, weird,
Especially the women with beards, (sori)
Or look at the insect things,
they answer to a queen, not the king.

Tell me this, if you please,
How on Earth did we squeeze,
So many different variations,
Across our strangely differing nations?
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#7
I liked your very first one the most.

The first new one has great imagery but seems a bit forced with all the rhyming. I like the second new one but your very first one is my fav.

Thanks for sharing.
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#8
I'm near you,
I feel it,
I needn't look round
And open my eyes.

Sitting quietly,
We're together,
Neither of us
Ever feels alone.

I need you,
You need me too,
We kiss, we share,
You stroke my hair.

I love you,
Chris,
You really care.
I love it when I just know you're there.

I love it how we sit and stare,
We kiss again,
You stroke my hair.

Chris,
I miss when you were there.
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#9
A piece of heaven fell on my head,
Knocked me unconscious,
Nearly dead,
That piece of heaven that hit my head.

I wake up and look around,
And what I saw?
It did astound.

An angel sitting on top of me,
Sitting there,
Breezy, care free.

Well, you could imagine my surprize,
An angel fixating me with his eyes,
We got up, we shook hands, he was nice,
I wondered then did this come with a price...
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#10
Life just seems to run in trends,
It runs, and twists, and turns, and bends.
The trends that seem to never end.
It's easy to get lost.
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