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Limericks
#1
Gasman Named Dieter

A forgetful old gasman named Dieter,
Who went poking around his gas heater,
Touched a leak with his light;
He blew out of sight—
And, as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.

Runner Named Dwight

There once was a runner named Dwight
Who could speed even faster than light.
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

An Amoeba Named Max

An amoeba, named Max, and his brother
Were sharing a drink with each other;
In the midst of their quaffing,
They split themselves laughing,
And each of them now is a mother.

Lady Named Ferris


There once was a lady named Ferris
Whom nothing could ever embarrass.
'Til the bath salts one day, / in the tub where she lay,
turned out to be Plaster of Paris.

Writer Named Bing

A magazine writer named Bing
Could make copy from most anything;
But the copy he wrote
of a ten-dollar note
Was so good he now lives in Sing Sing.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
There was a gay lad from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#3
Cute . . . . . .
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