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Listing preferred role in bed.
#1
Eh, so here's a stupid question...

I finally placed a (legit) ad on a mainstream dating website searching for a monogamous LTR. (No more anonymous hook ups for me.)

In my profile I mentioned that I'm versatile, not really into roles, like top/bottom etc...

But I'm left a little uncomfortable putting that out there right off the bat. My question is, Is that too much information?

Personally, as much as I'm looking for an emotional connection, I don't really want to start an exclusive sexual relationship that pins me down into one role.

Am I putting too much emphasis on this aspect? Honest opinions appreciated.

Thanks as always.
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#2
I'd leave it out because it sounds like you might be looking for sex. Most guys are versatile anyway.
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#3
Right. Thanks. That was my concern.

Still interested in other opinions.
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#4
I'm a pagan. I believe in free will. When I choose to do something, I always assume I am right. I go with the results of my decisions. If I am wrong, I don't care. I try something else until I get it right.

If you wrote your profile truthfully, it almost always works to your benefit. If you lie, it almost always comes back to haunt you.

From my point of view, you are right unless someone can prove you are wrong. Good luck. Hope you get laid on your first date. If not, try to get laid on your second date. If not, try to get laid on your third date. ETC. As long as you like a guy, keep going after him.

I fell madly in love with a straight guy and never regretted it. From a gay point of view, I did everything wrong. HaHA I'm sticking my tongue out at the guys who pretend they know the rules. I fucked that straight guy without once having ever seen a picture of a homosexual act. I think if I could recreate the loss of my virginity, most guys would laugh so hard, it would be the funniest porn movie ever made. What the hell. I finally got the job done and I was elated. The straight guy said he liked it. It works. I always trust my instincts with guys. I am never wrong with guys. I am an asshole with women. I still can't figure out why he got his foot in my mouth at one point. I pushed and pulled in 20 directions until I got everything lined up. I penetrated and came in 30 seconds. Trust me I got better. Before he died, I could fuck my guy for hours without having an orgasm. Try anal reservatus, it will astonish you! Good luck.
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#5
I was thinking the same, it shouldn't really matter if your looking for a long term monogamous relationship.
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#6
Good luck, LateBloomer! I know he is out there. And when you find him, he will tell you that he was looking for a man like you for a long time. And I bet he will be sure, the long waiting was worth it Bighug
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#7
To me the information is 'important' to a point, that point varies depending on the person. There are 100% strict 'total' tops and total bottoms who feel that this is an important aspect of what they want in a person. Knowing that information up front instead of spending three dates not touching the subject then asking to get the wrong answer is really a waste of time and energy for both parties.

I do not know how this versatile thing works for you. Would you be willing to date a top or bottom only type person and being thrown into a 'role' situation? If not, then weeding out the potential mates based on your need/want to have a person who is like you, versatile, may actually be important here.

Do you want to invest three dates (three meals and three movies) to a guy who turns out to be a total bottom that can't and won't ever, never ever ever top? If not, then letting the guys know that you are versatile and looking for the same will save you from 'wasting' time.
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#8
Nick9 Wrote:Good luck, LateBloomer! I know he is out there. And when you find him, he will tell you that he was looking for a man like you for a long time. And I bet he will be sure, the long waiting was worth it Bighug

What a sweet thought.
Let's hope so.
Smile
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#9
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:To me the information is 'important' to a point, that point varies depending on the person. There are 100% strict 'total' tops and total bottoms who feel that this is an important aspect of what they want in a person. Knowing that information up front instead of spending three dates not touching the subject then asking to get the wrong answer is really a waste of time and energy for both parties.

I do not know how this versatile thing works for you. Would you be willing to date a top or bottom only type person and being thrown into a 'role' situation? If not, then weeding out the potential mates based on your need/want to have a person who is like you, versatile, may actually be important here.

Do you want to invest three dates (three meals and three movies) to a guy who turns out to be a total bottom that can't and won't ever, never ever ever top? If not, then letting the guys know that you are versatile and looking for the same will save you from 'wasting' time.

Thanks.

How does the "versatile thing" work for me? Well, I guess that's a pretty good question. Honestly, I don't like bottoming very much. It's something I do for my partner if he wants it. I actually "get off" more on sheer intimacy no matter what form it takes.

So, would I be frustrated with a "pure top"? Honestly, yeah. Like I said, I don't want to be "pinned down"--literally or figuratively!

Smile

But I noticed one thing while perusing the ads. Almost NOBODY mentions what they prefer and the ones who do, well, I don't want to have anything to do with them...

I guess that's why I needed a little feedback.

So far I'm happy deleting that part of my ad. Let's see how it goes.
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#10
gilhooly Wrote:I'm a pagan. I believe in free will. When I choose to do something, I always assume I am right. I go with the results of my decisions. If I am wrong, I don't care. I try something else until I get it right.

If you wrote your profile truthfully, it almost always works to your benefit. If you lie, it almost always comes back to haunt you.

From my point of view, you are right unless someone can prove you are wrong. Good luck. Hope you get laid on your first date. If not, try to get laid on your second date. If not, try to get laid on your third date. ETC. As long as you like a guy, keep going after him.

I fell madly in love with a straight guy and never regretted it. From a gay point of view, I did everything wrong. HaHA I'm sticking my tongue out at the guys who pretend they know the rules. I fucked that straight guy without once having ever seen a picture of a homosexual act. I think if I could recreate the loss of my virginity, most guys would laugh so hard, it would be the funniest porn movie ever made. What the hell. I finally got the job done and I was elated. The straight guy said he liked it. It works. I always trust my instincts with guys. I am never wrong with guys. I am an asshole with women. I still can't figure out why he got his foot in my mouth at one point. I pushed and pulled in 20 directions until I got everything lined up. I penetrated and came in 30 seconds. Trust me I got better. Before he died, I could fuck my guy for hours without having an orgasm. Try anal reservatus, it will astonish you! Good luck.

I also believe honesty wins every time. But I also appreciate a little "decorum" I guess.

Anal reservatus? I might have to Google that!

Cool
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