I honestly thought this was dead & buried until recent events dug up the grave again.When I was about 6 or 7 years old,my uncle took me to his room & he made him touch him & he touched me.We'd gone to my mother's home that holiday & she was in the next room.Of course he made me promise not to tell and I was OK with it as I saw nothing wrong & he never did it again.I now have cousins that are about the same age & he seems to be spending a lot of time with them.Is it too late to tell?Should I let sleeping dogs lie?
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hmmm this is a tough one... but i think you deffinatley need to speak up for the wellfare of your cousins although it only happened the once once is enough and you should not be ashamed if thts wat ur feeling at all?! i had a friend of mine who's stepbrother used to sexually abuse her when she was like 11 and she never spoke up and the prick got away wiv it when the family split up and they wnet sperate ways... anyway speak up before its too late ur family know it wasnt ur fault, ur the victim here and for all we know so are ur cousins! i think ur uncle is sick for doing tht and he isnt fit to raise kids if this is the way he abuses his trust... so yh do ur family a favour an 'out' ur uncle
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Its been sometime since I posted something on here however reading your post I have been moved to say something.
I am a Police Officer in Sussex. I am a trained Sexual Offences liason officer and family liason officer which, if you decided to report this, is the kind of officer you would speak to when telling Police.
All too often people think that the time span means that nothing can be done, and that they would be better not speaking out. In my small experience I would say that is wholly wrong, albeit understandable. As we have seen numerous times before, when someone "gets away" with doing something like this chances are they would do it again, and again, and again. As a society we have to do everything we can to stop people from facts.
My advice to you would be to tell someone close to you in the first instance and go together to see the Police. We have come a very long way and treat these matters sensitively and properly. What happened was wrong, and if you feel able to then report it. If for no other reason that to protect other family members. Saying all of that tho, you will need the support of people around you to give you the strength to recount what happened.
What ever happens I hope that you are able to move forward into the future with the support of those around you.
PS. I hope that doesnt sound too much like a lecture, thats not how it is intended. I tend to fall into Police mode too easily! I am a friendly human too!!!
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Mates,thank you very much for the support you've shown.Involving the police never came to mind though,is it really necessary to involve them?I think I'm going to tell my aunt first & see where to go from there.But how do I even go about talking about this?My uncle is now a bit elderly,would it be fair to have him jailed now?He's never gotten married though.
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I see two issues here: a. Childhood experiences that bother you b. Prevent anything similar , small or big to happen to someone else.
I take it you dont want to make a big fuss about it. You said he did it only once with you but makes me think if he has done more than that with other kids when their parents were not next door. Anyway, since you dont want to involve police there is another way. Why you want to talk to your aunt first about it? Do you trust her more or you have better a relationship with her?
I suggest to talk to your cousins' parents. If there is even a tiny possibility that he will do anything like this again you should at least give them something to think about...
How to say something like that? The best way to talk about things like this is a light way but nonetheless pass your message across clear. Tell them you are apprehensive about your uncle spending time with them and shouldnt be alone with him. This will give them a clue at least but you can say you remember he has been a little ''funny'' with you once when you were 7 years old, touched you ect.
What happened back then seems to bother you the best thing you can do is to talk to someone for professional advice. Doesnt cost a lot either. whatever we say here might not be the best advice. Someone experienced knows better regardless how minor or major the issue is helps to set your head right in whatever bothers you: Relationships, sexuality, past experiences. Message me if you want to give you details.
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Spoty,you are right,I don't want to make a fuss about this & I doubt that professional help is required.I want to tell my aunt first because she's very laid-back & always gives sound advice.It's funny how this thing cropped up,I had forgotten about it somehow until Sunday.I was caught off-guard this morning when I suddenly broke down & cried.I feel so alone & all of a sudden,my life seems so empty,fruitless,bleak & worthless.No,I'm not suicidal but just tired of living.
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I think this is my own quarter-life crisis,unexpected as it might be,I think it allowed me finally let go of something I held onto even though it was long gone.Thank you spotysocks,the wealth of advice you gave me last night really,really helped.I was even thinking about suicide for a hot second but today I woke up feeling rested.I know this problem is far from over but I think the worst is over.I'm telling my friend today.Thank you spoty.
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good luck, you're doing the right thing
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