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Need advice on partners history
#11
I recently found out, he didn't give me a specific number but the comment he made to one of his friends said "I'm well within the three digits" of people he's slept with in the past.

"3 digit ho"???
Oh hell no!!!
Id run and never look back!!!
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#12
MisterTinkles Wrote:I recently found out, he didn't give me a specific number but the comment he made to one of his friends said "I'm well within the three digits" of people he's slept with in the past.

"3 digit ho"???
Oh hell no!!!
Id run and never look back!!!

Honey,,, at your age - you should be running towards anything that still has a heartbeat!! (Big Grin).......................... Just kidding...............
We Have Elvis !!
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#13
jimcrackcorn Wrote:Honey,,, at your age - you should be running towards anything that still has a heartbeat!! (Big Grin).......................... Just kidding...............

[SIZE="3"]Im might be wanting someone, and I might be alone (but not lonely)......
but I am by NO means DESPERATE!!!!![/SIZE]


Faga1
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#14
why not just talk about it see what his thoughts are.

I was in a monogamous relationship for 5 years because we had the talk and decided to go open and personally i couldn't be happier.

If you include light play in the past 6 months i've fooled around with more than 10 including my bf, getting into the hundreds wouldn't be that hard if you really wanted it.
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#15
Thank you everyone who didn't come on here to pass judgement on the more promiscuous men. This helped me out a bit.
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#16
This is actually a VERY EASY QUESTION TO ANSWER: YOU NEED TO GET WITH A THERAPIST TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH YOUR PAST SEXUAL ABUSE!

This isn't something you, your partner or friends can do. YOu need a professional, with experience in dealing with your emotional reactions to sex, rape and intimacy - and how to heal and move forward as a more healthy man.

Look, your reactions - both physical and mental - are directly tied to the past traumatic events and the unresolved feelings and emotions that developed as a result.

Your subconscious has developed "defenses" - as a way of protecting you from being hurt again. Those defenses need to be dismantled through therapy - not thru a letter, a chat or anything of the sort.

This is a serious condition that need to be treated by a TRAINED PROFESSIONAL.

If you REALLY want to live a happy, fulfilling and INTIMATE life with your partner - you have to get some help. Rest assured, there are MILLIONS of folks who have had similar experienced in their lives and, with therapy, have gone on to live wondefully happy lives.

The risk of NOT getting help is that your partner, no matter how loving and patient, will eventually tire and get frustrated with your sexual and emotional breakdowns and he'll want out. Making a life-long committment to someone means you BOTH have to work at it. Given your mental state and past abuse, you don't have the skills to deal with your past - so get the help or risk the demise of your fragile relationship.

PS: IT'S EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO DO THIS BEFORE YOU ADOPT CHILDREN!
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#17
I do need to see someone professionally, but it's for reasons that don't directly tie to this issue at hand. I appreciate the concern though (being serious, not sarcastic here).

I actually enjoy sex now, a lot. In fact I said this in one of the posts but I'm now in the mood more often than he is, a lot more often. Each time we have sex I'm left wanting more and I keep fantasizing about other guys being there as well.

I'm not looking to replace my man at all, I just need to know if there's a way to either get rid of these urges that have been getting worse over time with each thing I learn from his sexual past, that I get jealous of. If I can't get rid of them, I want to consider alternatives but I don't want to hurt him, he's been incredible to me, absolutely incredible. I value him more than the fantasies he's lived out that I'm jealous of, I just don't know how to deal with it. If I could go back in time I wouldn't take his past from him, I'd add more to mine.

Adopting children isn't the immediate future, but possibly in the next few years. I'm getting terrified of the commitment to be honest. I enjoy the now with him, but thinking about our future gets over-whelming when I think about the things I want to do while I'm young and able to. I may need to discuss this with an LGBT therapist since I feel like straight people in this conservative bible-belt state wouldn't understand.
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