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Need to express my feelings, no real point in this post
#11
hello aester,
It sounds like you are suffering from guilt... You regret what you did was wrong as a child but we akll do wrong things as a child becauyse of peer pressure... You can make ends meet by sending her a message and apologizing to her for the abuse you gave her in school to clear your mind. She may not forget her bullied time but you weont ever forget being the bully until you both find a happy medium between you both... The attraction you feel towards her could be the fact your feeling sorrow inside for her and cannot forgive yourself... Most gay men like to hang with women as friends and you never know you may be able to stick two fingers up at the bullies who upset her in younger years and become good friends with her... Take it from someone who didnt get it easy in school as i was a victim as well... Getting an apology later on in life can settle all debts and ease ones mind as we get older we get wiser and as children we are naive and nasty and think the world owes us a living.... Make ends meet and you should be fine... With regards to sucide thats never an option as your finding it hard coming to terms with something that isnt that big a deal just need to clear your mind and make ends meet

kindest regards

zeon x
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#12
Hey, Aester. I know the world can some times feel hard, cruel, and callas, and some times it is hard to deal with all the malice in the world on an individual level. The way people treat each other . . . the way we can sometimes treat people can be hard to cope with, but you have to remember at those times that there is more good in the world than not. You just have to focus on it, and decide to do some yourself.
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#13
i ran into a small phase like that. i remembered all the people i had hurt, and all the firneds i had been mean too. lost firends and everything. my solution was for my to just finally go and apologize for everything to all of them. that was it. i have been fine ever since.
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