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Need to get this guy out of my head! How?
#11
hasher22 Wrote:Lesson learnt, people do stupid stuff when they have a crush.

Oh dude, you are sooooo right about that! BUT don't become cynical and don't be afraid to experience it again. Just learn to moderate yourself and not try to be clingy. Learn to read the signs the other guy is interested in you and go easy, never giving everything all at once but always doing things with a flair. Being pushy, demanding and hot headed will mess up things fast.
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#12
Oohhhh Honey, this happened to me also, and I found out later he was juggling 2 other guys and his ex wife. I was angry at myself for not figuring out what was going on, I'm usually really good at reading people. But my Crush always clouds my judgement.(and I do stupid thing around him, like walk into a wall)
MAYBE he is just keeping you on the hook for his own back up plan. (I don't like telling you that, but it happens)
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#13
if you wanna have a fresh start, you cant not "ruin what you have", and its kind of rude if you dont even get no for an answer about meeting up, no response is ignorant
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#14
You don't know what's going on in his life right now. It could very well be the case that the break up with his boyfriend has really affected him. As people have already said, I'd back off and wait for him to contact you.

For the time being, try to focus on being the best friend you possibly can be. Should anything happen in the future, then that's a bonus.
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#15
I think it's a good thing you let him go. Firstly,you got attached too much even before anything happened. Secondly,he's obviously not as interested in you as you are in him. I've experienced this whole thing,and after I told an online friend about it,he said,"If a guy wants to meet you,he will meet you no matter how hard it is",and it got me thinking,he's not interested to meet me to begin with,no wonder he won't even try harder to meet me. And he doesn't even have the decency to say no to you,ignoring a message is a big red flag. He could have at least arrange another time,but he didn't.
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#16
I think you probably know he isn't interested so I want to give you something useful for the future.....

The first thing...if you catch yourself saying things like "I can't believe someone like HIM would be interested in someone like ME"....STOP!!!!!! This was where you made your biggest mistake and it is a mistake a lot of people make. It suggests that you are somehow unworthy of his attention for some reason and that is a very bad place to start any kind of relationship.

The second thing...you have put him on a pedestal and that is another bad idea...but maybe not for the obvious reasons. It is great that you clicked with him but putting him on a pedestal can be very awkward for the recipient.....it sucks actually

I will tell you something and though a lot of people may disagree with me...I think it is something that needs to be said.

I have been that guy....many times...and done exactly what he did

I had guys who built me a pedestal a lot and when I figured out what they were doing I did something to make them lose interest in me...or hate me...because it is better to be hated than to have to deal with that. The reason...people who build pedestals for other people get mad when you aren't the guy they invented and they rarely, if ever, take responsibility for their fantasy (often based on your looks)...and then it gets ugly.

I could elaborate a lot more but I will stop there since I don't know why he did what he did. The way you describe him and your reaction to him will make a lot of guys uncomfortable for the reason I stated...and for a lot of other reasons I didn't.Wink
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#17
Oh East, thanks for the insight. It's good that I have experience my first and worst crush, I assume many more to come for myself. I could only react to how I felt at the time, whether it was logical, irate or stupidity.

Little update, when I said sorry through facebook just to make myself at peace. He actually wanted said he wanted to catch up soon. I didn't think anything of it, because of the previous invites.

So I took a chance of inviting him again;
Hey guys,

Thanks for the replies, yes I do agree. I am being a clingy nutcase but it started after the two meets not before the meets.

I was in his area to meet with a friend in the same area. I just casually messaged him and said
Me: "I am in the area, be good to catch up."
Him: "What time?"
Me: "About 9:30pm to 10:00pm I'll be free, so if were both free, would be great"
No reply........

I didn't get angry, I was like, "meh, nothing I can do".

My previous post I stated I deleted his number, I didn't delete him off facebook or Instagram because he questioned my motives before.

How I feel now? He's just an acquaintance in my eyes, I do think of him from time to time but not in a crush way, just somebody I used to know.

Thank you guys for the replies, I will take put your advice into action and it will build my strength and awareness to the next person....... Big Grin
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#18
I would honestly just stop. When someone starts ignoring me, I leave them alone, even when I'm really crushing on them. Yeah, it hurts when you think you have a chance with someone you have feelings for and then it just doesn't happen, but it'll pass.
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#19
Bluelight Wrote:I would honestly just stop. When someone starts ignoring me, I leave them alone, even when I'm really crushing on them. Yeah, it hurts when you think you have a chance with someone you have feelings for and then it just doesn't happen, but it'll pass.

Hehehe I have Big Grin

Update:
Interesting turn of events;

- 1 week ago he invited me to hang because he now lives in my area! I said no and I was busy (I wasn't, just over the BS)
- Yesterday he tried to add me back to facebook - coincidence? I think not.....

Been ignoring him all this time, turn of events, he's now contacting me? I'm still gonna ignore him. Funny thing, my girlfriend said that If I ignore him he'll come to me. I don't want him at all now.....
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#20
Some guys judge their self worth by how attractive they are to others, and enjoy the chase/being perused. Once that stops... they come looking for it.
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