Someone once told me that people won't respect your "yes" if you don't know when and how to say "no".
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This is my problem sometimes I feel guilty when I say NO. But now I understand, I have to learn to say no without feeling guilty. Like what my friend told me, Setting boundaries is healthy before you need to learn to respect and take care of yourself.
It’s always hard to say “NO” specially to someone. Why? It makes us feel selfish, guilty, embarrassed even we don’t want to upset people. We don’t want them to think badly of us. Sometimes it’s simply easier to say “yes,” than to deal with our angst or other people’s reactions.
Oh well... now I understand. From now on I start sayin NO. Thanks BrianNorth for explaining well... Thumbs up to you...
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Honestly when I watched the video of BriaNorth I canât get over it. I admit that I had a terrible time saying ânoâ to the people that I cared about specially to my past relationship. My heart would pound, palms sweat and stomach churn every time I wanted to say ânoâ to my loved oneâs request. I would think up endless explanations as to why I had to tell them ânoâ but the excuses never sounded good enough for me , plus they often were phony and that didnât feel good either. As I internally struggled to find a way to say ânoâ and make it OK I would start to resent the person who was asking me to do something I really didnât want to do. I also started to resent myself more and more for being so weak. Sometimes I would try to say ânoâ but then I was afraid I was going to hurt somebodyâs feelings and they wouldnât like me anymore and I would worry that this meant I wasnât a good person. In the end I almost always would give in and say âyesâ to whatever was being requested.
But now I realize while trying to talk to myself infront of the mirror, I know it sounds crazy but hey it helps. I realized all these times of not saying ânoâ (when I should) were not helping me at all. I was spending a lot of time and energy for other people and not spending nearly as much time for myself. It was frustrating especially since I brought it upon myself. I slowly realized if I wanted personal time, I needed to learn to say ânoâ.
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