Not sure what to do

[Evan88]

Yeah they are all right...

Talk to him, communicate....

Get things straight to the point and ask him why he doesnt want to be more than friends...or better where do you stand? Ask him if it would be possible to have a relationship with him..

You cant assume things unless he would give you clear answers

[th456]

Thanks for your help. Unfortunately he's not responding to my texts now. I asked if he wanted to go to a movie. I thought it's more of a neutral meeting place. That was actually quite hard for me since I tend to stay home most of the time.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

TH,

I think the best approach for now is actually to back off for a few days and see if he reaches out to you.

People who are reluctant to open up to long term partners, unusually (although not always) have something, or someone to hide.

Give yourself a week. Don't reach out to him in any way (easy to say but I know hard to do) and see if he reaches out to you. If he doesn't, then I fear you have your answer.

Good Luck


ObW
X

[th456]

He finally texted me back, but said he just went to a movie and has a dinner tonight...what about one next week (it's only Tuesday now). Am I reasonable to be upset by this or am I being too needy? It seems like he's putting a distance between us.

[th456]

Another thing is I seem to feel an extreme jealously that he is seeing other people. I've never been a jealous person at all with any other guy. I don't understand why I feel this way

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Why are you pursuing this?

He has indicated he doesn't do sex with friends, and he doesn't want a relationship with you.

This initiating sexual stuff, getting halfway to going there then shutting it all off sounds incredibly like malicious teasing - not meaning to be fun (for you) but most likely hilarious to him.

It may indicate a passive aggressive way to 'punish' you for fawning over him and being a little lost puppy dog trying to win his love.

In any case, you need to stop this - completely shut it down and stop trying to date him and find a guy who wants to date you, have sex with you and won't play this game.

It's cruel, malicious and mean spirited....

[th456]

Thanks for your advice Bowyn Aerrow. Part of me already had some of these thoughts. For some reason I haven't been able to let him go. I know I'm stupid putting up with it for so long.

The thing is I only really have one other close friend. I think I've held on to him because he's known me for a few years and trying to get to know someone new seems daunting.