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Please help!!! Any advice is appreciated!
#1
Hello All! I would truly appreciate if anyone can help me out with what I am currently going through! Thanks in advance!... I tried cutting my story shorter but couldnt Sad

Let me begin with some background about myself: I am a 25 year old female, who has never been out to anyone but my brother, I would consider myself bi although i had never had a relationship with a woman. I have only dated men.

BAckground about my friend: 27 yr old female, single mother, been divorced, was raped by uncle as a child, has social anxiety therefore doesnt date guys as much.

My Story: Few months ago I met this current friend l in school. Since we met we would text every day (some of our convos even consisted about dating guys, but mostly talked about how our day was going). We would hang out almost everyday for about 2 months, going out to eat, movies, and also taking the same college courses. Some weekends her son would hang out with us too. We go to school Monday-Thursday and on weekends we would also hang out, expect Sundays. One day after class we decided to go buy some drinks and just hang out. I was buzzed she was definitely more buzzed than I was (not sure if she was drunk). We ended up making out several times during that night. She initiated it. I spent the night at her place, altho nothing more happened. The next day we didn't even talk about it. We continued with our lives like nothing. Texting everyday and going to school together and hanging on weekends. 10 days after we went out on a weekend and again we were both under the influence (I was buzzed (but knew exactly what I was doing and she was more buzzed than I was-not sure if drunk) and made out again. Again nothing more happened. She did mention that she had always been curious of what it was "to do things with a girl." Next day we didnt talk about it again. We continued with our lives. School and hanging out on weekends. I do have to say that at times we would have disagreements on daily topics and sometimes she would act different-distant n short. Well one day according to her I made a comment that to apparently I was not being empathetic of what she was going thru and said she would no longer tell me much of what would be going on in her life. Since then, we stopped texting as much as we would. Our texting went from like 100% to 30%. That same weekend we didnt go out (it was the first weekend that we didnt spend together) Monday came and when I seen her, she was acting "different." Was very distant and short. When class, ended we each left home rather than go out to eat as we usually would. That same day, we didnt text at all neither. The next day she decided to text me to congratulate me since I had finished my BA. She said we had to celebrate and therefore invited me to have drinks. We met at 12pm at a bar and were drinking until 5pm. We then went to go pick up her son from school. After that we went to another restaurant and continued drinking. By 10 we left, she decided we go and buy more alcohol and drink in the car. Again I was buzzed she was more buzzed. And although her son was in the car asleep already, we made out again but this time she performed "digital penetration" on me. I asked her why do that if shes not getting anything out of it? She said she was getting pleasure out of it too. I felt horrible that her son was in the car too but at the same time I enjoyed it. I myself tried to pull her pants down but she wouldnt let me. SHe said she liked doing things to me but wouldnt want me to do things to her. The next day she mentioned that she regret the fact that she didnt take her son home since we ended up sleeping in the car. SHe was also scared that her son had seen what we done but never mentioned anything else about it. We went back to not texting each other anymore like it was few days ago but still seeing each other in class. Weekend came, I asked her if she wanted to hang out she said she had no money yet she was gonna go out with her friend (a female). This was the second weekend we didnt hang out. Monday came and she was acting weird again, being short and distant. Thru out the week, we only texted about 10%, on insignificant things. Altho she was acting different on Wednesday of that week I asked her if she wanted to catch lunch she said yes. That day I wanted to ask her why was she being so distant the past two weeks (not texting the same as we would nor hanging out as much) I didnt want to because she started acting nice like she used to be when things were "normal." The same day we texted all day even after when we each went home. Came the next day and we didnt text at all. She didnt even show up to class (my assumption she didnt have a baby sitter for her son). I asked her if she was coming to class, she never replied. Since then I have not heard from her.Its been 3 days. At this point I know I can just say screw this and walk away. Only reason why I dont: I will see her Monday-Thursday in school, I now have feelings for this person(even tho I think feelings are not mutual), and altho she acts "weird" at times , I want to believe that at the end shes a good person n dont want to lose her friendship. I will come across her tomorrow I am not sure whether to ask why is she acting different or not, and what are her thoughts about us "messing around." I feel that I cant question her since we are only friends but then I want to know why is she acting different.

What shall I do? Please Help! Should I ask her whats wrong? the fact that we messed around could that have messed up our friendship? I am so clueless and keep breaking my head of whats going on! THANK YOU! Any advice is welcome!
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#2
Maybe she's having second thoughts about all of this. Maybe she's going to need time to process what's happening and the consequences that may arise from it. I'm afraid I'm not in her head, but I suppose you could try to contact her (a text message?) and find out if she's "all right"? What harm would that cause?
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#3
Sigh…. Give yourselves time to do some emotional "settling" or "sifting through" this. For sure the two of you need to have a conversation -- A SOBER CONVERSATION -- I hasten to add. (Seriously, mixing alcohol into this is a recipe for drama and disaster, and this should be already obvious!) I'm a bit concerned about the boy in all this, how old is he? Why in the name of heaven did you (two) act out in front of him? That's another set-up for drama and disaster.

People (addressing readers in general), if you're going to play around, BE SANE ABOUT IT, please! Pretty please!! Your hearts, your emotions and feelings, are involved in this -- as are those of other people. Damage CAN happen, serious damage if you're not careful.

You, OP, may just have to give one another some space and a bit of time. For sure, though, a sober, quality conversation needs to happen… What do you (two) want? Do you know? Are you willing to take it easy, respectfully (of each other and one's own self), one step at a time, finding your way, what works and what doesn't?
.
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#4
Thank you very much for taking your time in replying! I was dying in hearing some advice from someone since I am not open about being Bi to anyone but my brother (whom is not very good with advice)

Her son is 8 yrs old. And yes I myself feel horrible and didnt want to do anything that night but she insisted. I know i could have put a stop to it but it was my first time being that intimate with a girl that I was afraid to lose that chance as stupid as it might sound.

Yes i agree with having to have a talk but the fact that we are only friends am I still able to ask? It just feels weird to me but I definitely want to know whats going on. Today I was suppose to see her at a chiropractor's office (we both had the appointment at the same time) but it turns out she changed the time. We are in spring break so I wont see her until Monday (thats if she hasn't dropped the classes).

On my part, I wouldnt mind having an official relationship with this person but I dont think she is up for that (I think she is straight but only curious) Therefore the best would probably be to just be friends and have the normal friendship we once had (including those "curious nights"
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