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Progress?
#11
nfisher1226 Wrote:The problem is, if I'm realistic about it then my job would become a living hell if word got around in that place. I can see other areas that might be problematic, but that's the big one. I need to make a big change sometime, but I don't know exactly how I want to do it. I have no education past high school, so the best work I can find always tends to be factory work. And I'm tired of not being able to really talk about my life with my coworkers like everybody else gets to. I want to get to a place where I can say what I did with my boyfriend over the weekend, or what our plans are, or talk about what's going on in his life if I feel like it. Straight people get to do that. I know there's got to be a place I could too, but I know it's not where I'm at right now, so I'm still a bit on the fence.

I was really really worried about it too. Coming from a small town in a small country. Everybody knows everything about anybody in a heartbeat (blame Facebook!). But being out and open, exactly so I can discuss what goes on in my life with people, was SO worth it for me. I lost my best friend when I told him I was gay, he couldn't really deal with. But apart from him, I've never lost or alienated anybody. I'm not obviously gay, but anybody who's within earshot of my everyday conversation would be left with little doubt about my sexual orientation.
I don't know where you live or what's normal. Being gay was absolutely not normal where I came from or even where I live now, but people accept me. I even think they find it rather fascinating. I hope, for your sake (and all of ours, in reality), that you are just fearing the worst. Your coworkers might be the most open and gayfriendly people in the world, but you'll never know unless you tell them who you really are. We, the gays that are coming out, put alot more thought into this than the people we come out to do. It's really not that big of a deal, if you think about it. Keep progressing. Do it at your own pace.
Stay strong. Best of luck.
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#12
I just sent an email to my mom. There's a long letter attached telling her I'm gay and what that's meant in my life, and trying to explain why I hid it for so long.

Crap, this is nerve wracking. But for better or worse that part's over with. Thank god for that.
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#13
I just sent an email to my mom. There's a long letter attached telling her I'm gay and what that's meant in my life, and trying to explain why I hid it for so long.

Crap, this is nerve wracking. But for better or worse that part's over with.
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#14
Apparently I was nervous enough to accidentally double post...
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#15
^That's cause it deserves double the celebration.

Confusedmile:
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#16
I hope it goes well, I tried telling my little sister but she caught amnesia and pretended like I never told her. as for higher education, don't forget about trying for financial aid and applying for scholarships, there's a lot of free money out there that people forget about. and don't knock community colleges, a lot of times if employers offer training they will send employees to community colleges to take classes, and its cheap Wink. just stay clear of the "advance" college b.s. (that's bullshit not Bachelors:p ) , you know the ones that tell you that you can get a degree in 2 years or less. I fell for that, and the colleges are accredited, but they forget to tell you that the programs are not :mad:
[Image: tumblr_n60lwfr0nK1tvauwuo2_250.gif]
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#17
Glad to hear things are hopefully going well.
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#18
Hi Nfisher..

May I weigh in on this?

never mind what work you do, it is honerable. In the game of life, we all get dealt a stack of cards. Some are good, some you keep to play later, and others you chuck.

Your percieved lack of education is no lack at all, unless you allow it to be so.

As I see it, you have antie'd up to the game table of life and are playing it something fierce.

There is nothing wrong with: -
Work is work and private life is just that, somewhat private.

Faced with probing questions, just say you prefer to keep work and home apart.

It's a good thing to keep private matters to yourself in the workplace...
Just the way it is, so no loss there.

You can be friendly towards co-workers but don't become friends with them, keep them at a little distance.

Make friends outside the workplace...

And one more thing, Consider yourself blessed indeed if you have more than 3 friends....The rest are just aquaintences.

My 2c worth, hope it helps..
Trial
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#19
So I talked to my mom today and just came away feeling confused. She never said whether she had read my letter or not, and I didn't ask, but she said a few things that made me think maybe she had. It was all friendly, seemingly random chitchat. But she mentioned how when she was growing up there was a clear role set for girls, and how things were better now. And she also said she didn't understand how my brother had turned out to be so closed minded, and she said that she and our dad really hadn't wanted that for their kids.

But it's just impossible to guess what's on her mind. She's acting so exactly like she always does that I could easily believe she never read what I wrote. But if she did read it, at least she's not treating me any different.

I guess I'm just going to have to stop being chicken and bring it up with her.
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