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Need major help
#41
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Actually its rather easy to disarm an opponent in close quarters, regardless of their proficiency with the weapon. See if a person was actually going to try to do anything, they would be using the weapon as a device to get you to comply.

The reality is that if a person is intent on killing you, there are other ways to do that which are more efficient than waving a weapon in your face. Most people who are going to present a potential threat and pull a knife or a gun on you are going to leave themselves wide open to be swiftly (and to varying levels of permanency) incapacitated.

I seriously doubt this guy intends you harm. I think there is a part of you that knows and understands that this guy's intend is to help in whatever way he can.

IF you have this sort of 'they are going to attack me in future' type notion, one of the methods you can take the sting out such thoughts is to get some practical self defense training. Various classes are out there, from simple 'how to rapidly disarm and get away from a mugger' type classes, to how to turn your opponent into a bloody mud puddle.

This 'fear' aspect here interests me, especially that you have told us that you are a big muscular guy who works out regularly. You say you can easily take out a guy, then are quick to point out that if they have a gun then no.

I wonder if part of your working out regularly ties in with an underlying issue with not being able to protect yourself. I have to wonder if this correlates with an experience in your past when someone took power from you.

Do you have 'control issues' of some sort? Do you need to feel more powerful than others in order to make certain they cannot harm you? While you may have a quick and fast answer to the gym workout along the lines of 'I want to look good', have you ever sat down and asked yourself if there are any deeper reasons why you want to have more muscle?

I wonder these things based on my own experiences. I learned all about firearms and bows and arrows and other related stuff (like knife throwing) in order to regain power that was taken from me. I may allow people to walk all over me in round about ways, but I can rapidly drop a man and if necessary use unnecessary force to make him my bitch. Or make him "living impaired" if I feel physically threatened.

I have 'over compensated' in the area of physically protecting myself.

And I do worry about potentials of strangers becoming "a problem". Perhaps not to the degree you are expressing here.

If there is an episode or more where someone has taken control/power from you, such as physical assault, molestation, rape, etc. it is possible that you may be reacting to that and not to the realities of real threats in the world.

If such a thing does exist in your past, you need to come up with a way to regain power/control and convince yourself that no one can take that from you again.

Self defense classes, or martial arts (which is used defensively only, not offensively) can restore a great deal of confidence, and give you back power that another may have taken from you.


I want never raped or anything. That's not even my worry! My worry is he is going to come and shoot me with a gun. (I know that is VERY irrational). Unknown its irrational. I have more times out of he day now that this is affecting me less. And when it does affect me the thought is getting weaker. Like today I'm worrying about it. But I'm able to overlook it easier.
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#42
Glad to see it looks as if you are clearer about the concerns being within you rather than about him. If he is being as helpful and open as you've described then you have much less to fear about him and more to fear of not taking advantage of his offer to get more engaged in your own betterment. I hope you'll stay connected here as you move forward. Xyxthumbs
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#43
LEANDRONJ Wrote:My intent is not to degrade the genuine well intended advice given by most posters on this website! I can read between the lines and am 100% sure that this individual needs immediate professional help. People in that state of mind every delayed second from getting professional one to one attention is more important and useful than any good intended advise given here! just saying

Understood Leandronj. I just didn't want the OP to get any inkling that his coming here to reach out and being open about being "in crisis" was a mistake. I certainly agree with your declaration; yet, it is very easy for obsessive thinking to lead to misinterpretation and isolating away from supports rather than towards. No doubt you are correct, but it's very important to nurture the power of GS too. Bighug
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#44
Don't ever download the Grindr app and allow gps. You can see that someone is 10 feet away from you on the app. Real easy to find out where someone lives. I am the opposite. I kind of hope someone will find me and take advantage of me...lol
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#45
What has he done that makes you think he will harm you? I don't think there is anything to worry about.
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#46
Ive known him for almost 9 months too, im sure if he wanted to do anything he would have acted upon It already. Right? Its getting better guys! Just a small little worry left!
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#47
Anyone again? Lol
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#48
Yeah if he wanted too.

I doubt he wants to, if he did he went the whole wrong way about it. Wink
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#49
Deleted my adress from a bunch of the search websites. Still a ton more. Not gunna do them all. I feel a bit safer.
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#50
^^^that is still obsessing.

Doesn't address the underlying issue (the OCD).

But if it makes you feel reasonably better, so be it.

I do wish, however, you would search out more professional help.

Please.
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