Rate Thread
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Advice. Help!!
#1
Hey there.
I am 17. My boyfriend is currently 24.
We have been dating for over 6 months now and ever since the first time I saw him I fell in love. I knew that he was the person that I wanted to be with. We met online and he was one of the first people I had ever met online. Despite the worries of being older and meeting him for the first time our first time meeting has been fantastic..
The past 5 and a half months have been fantastic. Age was my main worry when deciding to date him but I can honestly say that the past few months have been some of the best months of my life. But now I'm at a point where I need serious advice..

I went away on Holiday over Christmas and New Year of 2013-2014 to America. My boyfriend had been talking to a guy for a few weeks before. I had found out on the 3rd of January, 2014 that he had kissed the guy on New Year. I decided to try and sort it out as soon as I got home but all I did was worry about us.
I decided to forgive him as long as was being honest to me and he came clean. He promised me that it was just a kiss.. But I was wrong. The guy he has met is a massive slag. Also my boyfriend was going to try and book us a hotel to spend the night together on the 8th of January when I got back to work things out, however, I found out that they have had unprotected sex. My boyfriend is clean but imagine if I caught an STD.. I would have been so worried and my life and future could have been ruined..
He has started telling me information, dropping bits such as this guy has met his family and friends before me. And tonight he told me that they had sex on new year.. I broke down in tears and cried for the last 3 hours, throwing up multiple times. He promised me that he wold never hurt me again..
He problem is that I love him. I know that most people would judge me and say "I'm young and immature" but it's quite the opposite. I'm very mature for my age and I know what I want.
It hurts. I don't know what to do and he wants to meet me tomorrow and sort things out. I'm scared that he will hurt me again if I take him back but I can't live my life without him as my boyfriend. He means EVERYTHING to me and I wish that he loved me as much I loved him..
He claims it was a once off sex.. But after telling me had kissed him multiple times before New Years has really shocked me as I thought we had something magical and special.
I don't know what to do. Can anyone please give me some proper guidance and advice. Do I walk away from the best thing that has ever happened in my life or do I stay with him and risk the chance of having my heart broken for the third time in less than 2 weeks.
It seems to myself that whenever I pick myself up, I just get knocked back down. He claims that he wants to win me back and love me but is it too late or do I forgive, forget and give the man of my dreams another chance?
It's unfair as I'm being more mature in this relationship.
But can I continue like this?

I need to emphasise just how much I love this man. He means everything to me and he treats me right when we are together, but I am worried that if I take him back I could just get hurt like what happened this year.. I already know I am going away for new year again this year to Africa.. The most gutting part for me was that he spent new year, the most important day of the year to me with another guy. He knows that.. I just don't know if he really realises what he has done wrong and how much he has hurt me. Do I give him a third chance?

Thanks - Please give me some advice xx
Reply

#2
See my answer on the other thread you started.
Was it wise of you to leave your boyfriend all alone over the New Year?.... Could this not have been avoided? Did the temptations (and maybe his sense of loneliness) get the better of him? I'm not sure I understand what your relationship was until now. What sort of intimacy did you both have? What rules had you set up between you? Did you not assume that he was going to be "faithful" to you without actually discussing it? That was maybe a little naive, but understandable. I'm sorry that you feel so hurt by this revelation but maybe you need to take time away from him to think what course of action to take now. Can you bring yourself to distance yourself from him and the relationship for a while or is that going to tear you apart?
As for knowing whether he realises how much he's hurt you, the only way to know is to ask him. By telling him honestly how you feel, it'll give you the grounds for discussion and for trying to mend what has been broken. Most here would advise you that this should be your wake up call, but no one here has to live with the heartache, or the man in question. You're the only one who can decide what course of action to take.
In any case, take care of yourself, honey.
Reply

#3
Well, you claim to be in a monogamous relationship, so I'll go from there...

eh....you need to be extremely careful about his...if he lied to you and then lied to you again, and everytime the lie gets uncovered you get to know he did more with that guy that he said....well...

I'm just saying, if he's capable of doing that and then lying to such extent, then he is capable of more in the future

study how much are you willing to put up with if this happens again...and then decide..

if it was me I would keep him in a quarrantine of sorts, cause if he still wants you he will be with you and if he doesn't he'll run to the first piece of meat he can find..
Reply



Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  I need advice so desperately PanosK 2 399 12-07-2023, 06:26 AM
Last Post: PanosK
Lightbulb Advice on flirting and being friendly... richhix56 12 1,590 07-10-2021, 04:51 AM
Last Post: eastofeden
  Good Relationship Advice for Gays kindy64 1 974 08-16-2020, 02:31 PM
Last Post: InbetweenDreams
  Advice for a jealous lover? DC4319 4 924 04-16-2017, 03:22 PM
Last Post: Camfer
  Need advice on a tricky situation freddyguy 15 2,169 01-31-2017, 02:10 AM
Last Post: artyboy

Forum Jump:


Recently Browsing
1 Guest(s)

© 2002-2024 GaySpeak.com