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Ridiculously impossible HIV situation
#11
Cuddly Wrote:But it's still a fascinating bit of news you're bringing. I assumed HIV was measured by blood samples only. Atleast in common practise.

On the general populace, blood is the standard. On HIV+ patients currently undergoing therapy, at least seminal fluid should be collected at some point.

It's an interesting thing you ask, how many places indeed would do this?
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
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#12
as long as you are doing that, you need to check whether he has a genetic predicliction to cancer, or tuburculoris. he must pass a rigorous health check.

he might be diabetic as well?

I was with a guy who had full blown AIDS for 4 years, we had safe sex and I am negative 15 years later.

I could understand your approach if this was 1986 dude but it's 30 years later. Would you seriously dump him if you thought he was poz. How would that make him feel.

If he's poz, well, would that outweigh everything else he is as a human being?

guess I'm not understanding.
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#13
strider65 Wrote:I could understand your approach if this was 1986 dude but it's 30 years later. Would you seriously dump him if you thought he was poz. How would that make him feel.

If he's poz, well, would that outweigh everything else he is as a human being?

guess I'm not understanding.

I thought I was pretty clear but maybe I wasn't. First off, we're not dating, we're just very good friends that have messed around in the past. I have absolutely no problem with him being poz in fact, we have hooked up twice since he told me his version of the story (regardless if it's true or not) and we have talked briefly about risks which I am COMPLETELY aware of and I have been taking precautions (prep, safe play etc) even before this "news". I guess my biggest issue personally is the morality of it. The fact that he couldn't tell me or that he had to possibly fabricate a story to bring about the truth. To be honest, at least he's told me one way or another that he has HIV and so I can be even more sure I am taking every precaution. That counts for something too. I'd much rather know he has HIV than to go on assuming he isn't and perhaps getting lax on safety.

As I said already, I have no intentions of breaking off the friendship and to be honest, the more I continue to hang out with him the more I honestly feel myself shying away from the subject altogether. We actually just spent 5 days at the lake together with a couple of his friends so it hasn't affected our friendship at all currently. In truth? I like him. He's been a great friend to me over the last few months and yes, there is some emotional attachment, but if it's a choice between knowing for sure how long he's had HIV and keeping him as a friend...I'm taking the friendship. Everytime.

So I guess that's my answer. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to bring this up but for the moment, we've talked about HIV and precautions and we're both on the same page in that aspect. We're good friends, and I greatly value that.

Thanks for the input guys.
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#14
Fuck HIV .. I really do hope today's technology (and with all the funds that we have) is enough to advocate a dedicated team to pursue research that will be the answer to this modern-day problem. My heart goes out not just to your friend but to all the people who have lost relationships and ties because of this disease. May the HIV victims find mercy in all the goodness that still lives in this world ..
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#15
knickerbuck Wrote:Fuck HIV .. I really do hope today's technology (and with all the funds that we have) is enough to advocate a dedicated team to pursue research that will be the answer to this modern-day problem.

We're getting closer. Breakthroughs like this one show great promise. Prevention is already extremely effective in the right hands. It's only a matter of time.

http://pinknews.co.uk/2016/06/06/scienti...man-cells/
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#16
pman117 Wrote:We're getting closer. Breakthroughs like this one show great promise. Prevention is already extremely effective in the right hands. It's only a matter of time.

http://pinknews.co.uk/2016/06/06/scienti...man-cells/

In the meantime, [MENTION=23329]pman117[/MENTION], still do your homework and keep your options open. We don't have a cure even if things are much better than they were. You don't want to be pushing pills down your throat for whatever life you've got left, and you're only 25 so please keep yourself (and other partners) safe, as much as you possibly can.
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#17
princealbertofb Wrote:In the meantime, [MENTION=23329]pman117[/MENTION], still do your homework and keep your options open. We don't have a cure even if things are much better than they were. You don't want to be pushing pills down your throat for whatever life you've got left, and you're only 25 so please keep yourself (and other partners) safe, as much as you possibly can.
Thank you. Believe me when I say I'm well versed in std/sti so I know a pretty good deal. I'm actually about to have this conversation with him and it's going to end in flames. As much as that will hurt initially, I'll be better off and safer tbh. I actually posted a further scenario in the advice section (titled Dealing with a Player) with this same guy and it's become pretty apparent that I mean very little to him.

Thanks for the comments as always!
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#18
You're welcome, [MENTION=23329]pman117[/MENTION]. Bravo for having the guts to have that conversation.
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#19
To be honest if I knew someone was HIV+ I wouldn't have sex with them,safe or otherwise.I would just keep a friendship,that's it. I could never understand guys who would even chance having sex with someone HIV+ even with the precautions. First of all you wouldn't be able to enjoy it fully always wondering if there's a slip.A condom could break,what if you get some cum on your hand and you have a cut there.You would have to be on total guard on everything you do. Who needs to be leary like that. Are these guys that desperate for sex that they would even chance that.I'm not saying to shun the person as you could still be good friends. I would want someone HIV- Someone said they wouldn't like if they had cancer and somebody left them.It's a different story,however because you can't catch cancer from someone but you can certainly catch HIV. People HIV+ could easily be with others who are positive. I just wouldn't take the risk.
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#20
abcd1234 Wrote:To be honest if I knew someone was HIV+ I wouldn't have sex with them,safe or otherwise.I would just keep a friendship,that's it. I could never understand guys who would even chance having sex with someone HIV+ even with the precautions. Are these guys that desperate for sex that they would even chance that.I'm not saying to shun the person as you could still be good friends. People HIV+ could easily be with others who are positive. I just wouldn't take the risk.

Everything in that quote is what I feel. I haven't done anything with him since and I've discovered he'd been lying and playing me and probably others as well. In fact, I find out (not from him if course) that the "intestinal issue" he had that hospitalized him was a chlamydia infection he got because of a Grindr hookup. He's basically a total bottom sex addict that lies to everyone about his hiv status.

He has accounts on several sites and he doesn't list himself as poz an any of them. Plus he posts on CL all the time so he's a HUGE risk for me.

I'm done with it. I've been lied to, led on and played. The good thing is I recognize it. I wish I'd found this all out sooner but that can't be helped. I'm not willing to let someone else put my health at risk. Especially when they will just keep lying about it.
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