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Shaggy dog story
#1
A butcher is about to chase a dog from his shop, when he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.

He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus-stop.
The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while he reaches a house and stands on his back paws to push the "stop" bell, and there's no answer. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step. He barks repeatedly. No answer. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!-against the door. He does this again & again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, barks repeatedly at a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door.

Eventually, a small guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog. The butcher runs up screams at the guy:

"What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

The owner responds, "Genius, my arse . It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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