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Short and sweet
#1
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?' Granny replies, fuck the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
Biglaugh Biglaugh Biglaugh
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