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Single/Loneliness/Love.......
#1
Hi all,

These days I feel so alone and lonely even thoght I am surrounded by people. I am loved and accepted the way I am by family and friends, which is very lucky I think. However, I still feel empty inside. Why? Maybe because I never feel loved or valued by a love from a partner or a BF.

It doens't mean that I am in a bad relationship but becuase I have never been in a real one. No one really is interested in me because I think nowaday most gay poeple like to sleep around. Some good gay are just intrested in manly or masculine guys, which makes my situation really worse sue to my feminine and soft side. I am very small and smooth as well. Nothing sexy or outstanding, just an ordinary girly gay boy.

I don't know if one day I willl find my Mr. Right. I am hopeless and desperate at the same time. I am just tired of seeing a lot of couples being sweet.

Some say that I am still young but I just need someone to hold on to. I want a peppy love. I wanna be the young couples, doing something sweet together. Someone thta I can trust and rely on.

You can say that what a drama queen! Personally, I am just the way I amCat3

That I am the only one that might think or feel like this doesn't mean that I am wrong.

Please advise me what I can do to get a BF or where I can find true love....
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#2
I am exactly the same as you. Very feminine, soft, sweet, and I even have long hair and a very small body. It seems that most gays are into very masculine men and many of them sleep around, too. Some want to experience a feminine boy and then move on. Not all men are this way, and I know that there are men who are interested in me, but I just haven't found them. So I feel incredibly lonely. Where I live, people ignore me so it's like I don't even exist. Women don't trust me and men laugh at me.

I must admit that I am surprised that you haven't found anyone in Thailand. I assumed (maybe I'm very wrong in doing so) that in Thailand femininity was more accepted in men. I'm sorry to hear of your situation and am sad that you are so lonely. Sad

You're not a drama queen for feeling lonely and wanting love. I'm not a drama queen at all and I have the same feelings.
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#3
Been there, done that. I am chronically single as well and impossibly inexperienced >_<

Sorry, I've got no advice because I don't know a darn thing about dating or finding the right guys. But I sympathize! Bighug (<-- pretend that emoticon is hugging you instead of itself)
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#4
There's nothing "drama queen-ish" about feeling lonely, wanting to be loved, and wanting someone to love. These are very normal needs.

I understand what you mean about feeling like most of the gay men out there just want to sleep around, but there -are- plenty who are looking for something more, though. They're just harder to find because they're not openly "trolling for dick" like the promiscuous ones are.

I, like you, am not particularly "masculine" in appearance. I'm quite tall for my heritage (5'10) but most of my life I was easily mistaken for a girl until I recently ended up scarred (which apparently changed my appearance enough to now thwart that impression). Even then, I would still not be considered... a "man's man" in the masculine sense.

There are a LOT of men out there who like that tho. Who are interested in the feminine look or the 'boy' look. Some say that they are all Bi that want dick but want the femininity too (best of both worlds?) but I've come to realize over time that that isn't the case. Like someone who likes tall men or short men, hairy men or not hairy, chubby men or lean men, etc..... it's a preference. And like all preferences, there's many out there looking for just what you have to offer (Uneunsae too, *wink*).

In my case, I learned this because I did the promiscuous thing for a good while before finally settling down with Gideon. I have that experience under my belt that lets me know my "type" of appearance (and yours and Uneunsae's) is appealing to many.

The challenge is finding the ones not interested in sleeping around.

(Sorry for rambling, I'm a bit out of it today.)
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#5
And I thought Thai gays are having easier time finding other gays than here. Oh wait,it's always easy,the hard part is finding those looking for more than NSA. Rolleyes

Apparently femininity and chubbiness are the two most rejected in online dating apps,or at least that's my experience so far,so many guys advertise "no sissy no chubby". So I feel you,and unlike being fat,you can't change your mannerism,cause that's just like changing who you are.

Good news is,there's always gonna be guys who are into feminine guys,and TwistTheLeaf just confirmed that,that should relieve you a bit. As someone in GS said before,finding the right guy is gonna be hard,keeping him is gonna he hard too,so don't give up,give your best and take a break and rant here when you're tired,then get back to the dating scene~! Good luck~! Xyxthumbs
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#6
GS is a very tolerant place, too. I've never been bashed or called a girl here so I hope you feel comfortable enough to stay and talk with us more. Smile
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#7
First of all, sorry you feel this way! Like another poster said, there's nothing drama queen-y about feeling lonely and wanting to be loved!

Second of all, you know how some people just kind of happen to run into each other in some romantic way and that becomes the start of a relationship? Well, sadly, the chances of that happening to gay people are extremely low. In most cases, we need to be active rather than passive in order to find a relationship.

I would suggest using any platform you're comfortable with. If you're more of an extrovert person and enjoy going out you could go socialize at some gay bars or gay clubs. If you're not into that you could try to use the internet as a platform. There are options that suit everyone! Sure, a lot of people are going to be looking for simple sex, and some people are only attracted to more "masculine" men, but you are going to meet some really nice guys too who want the same things as you. Eventually! Good luck Big Grin
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#8
I wanted to quickly add, before I run off to a dentist appointment, that you should never change who you are and how you present yourself to please men. You didn't say you were doing this, but I went through several phases where I felt I needed to do this. It really damaged me in the long run. Now, I express myself how I want. Some days I wear eyeliner and earrings. It doesn't make me a girl and it doesn't mean I *want* to be one either. I'm just me. Anyone who has an issue with it is probably insecure with themselves, their identity, or their sexuality.
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#9
hmm been there done that, and I do feel you when you said the stuff about "sweet couples" :0, you have yet to meet guys, there are guys that are looking for a relationship and not just sleeping around. And they are hard to find due to apps n sites like Grindr, though you do find people like you n me on those apps once in a while Wink, and hmm why dont you try out gay clubs, bars or something, and since you said your happy and out of the closet, have you tried getting to know other gay guys via your friends? (if they know any) anyway, probs useless advice but thats how I got myself a boyfriend before, Good luck
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#10
It hurts me to my core to hear how lonely an d alone you feel. Not to worry, there are good men out there who are not only trolling for dick. Some, like you, are searching for that one special person, and aren't really only interested in body type, fem/butch mannerisms, dick size or age. It's not drama-queeny to feel the way you do, as I'm sure many of us went through the same things you are. I have been lucky to be off the dating circuit for awhile....my partner and I met over 25 vears ago through an advert in the "pink pages" of Advocate magazine. They no longer exist, but there is something to be said for written ads, internet dating sites and the such. Don't worry, honey. Your man will come along and you'll see what it is to experience the love you seek.
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