I take all my opportunities in life but not knowing where my life is going scares me sometimes. I'm going to finish university in 2016 and I just haven't planned anything yet for when I leave (but I do have ideas). I know I'm not old, I'm 20, but I do feel like I'm old and I'm constantly nostalgic for my teenage days. I'm even hesitant about dating guys who are a bit older than me (I just feel like I'm still such a kid and that they are "men") and even how I'm gonna find a guy to marry someday at times seems like an impossible thought and worries me. What the funny thing is though is that my friends and family all tell me I'm very mature, very together and apparently logical and I understand why they think this but this being a grown up thing isn't easy...
So are there any other guys around my age out there who worry about where they're going?
Or maybe some of you who are a bit older might be able to give some advice?
I know going with the flow is the be the best solution but I just don't know how to accept I'm not a teen anymore and that I don't know where I'll be in 2 years time.
I've been where you are and I think most of us have been. I just turned 30 this month and bought my first home this year. It was scary and it made me feel like a little boy partly because I relied so heavily on my Dad for advice.
We don't become mature men over night. It's a process. I still feel like a boy too often. I will even wonder if that will change when I have a family of my own.
One thing I learned is not trying to be something I am not yet. I mean, I can't live like a 30 year old with 30 year old life experiences when I am 20. Just try to do what 20 year olds do....get your education, consider your career path by exploring your talents and abilities as well as your hopes and dreams. Don't live tomorrow today.
Keep posting here so we can all get to know each other.
I agree with [MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION]. I'll add that in some ways I think the 20s are as difficult if not more difficult than being a teenager. Especially from about age 20 up to around 24/25. It varies with the individual of course. For me it wasn't until I was 25 that I began to get a handle on my life. The truth is, though, every age has its challenges. Now I'm having to deal with getting TRULY old -- not just "older" but down-right aged -- and TBH, I'm not doing it as gracefully as I probably should. Getting OLD sucks.... way more than merely getting "older". Hey, something to look forward to! LOL!!!
Excellent advice from Darius, MrGP. Doing a good job of finishing your education is a very important thing right now. Work hard at it.
And it is not too soon to work toward financial security. The coins from your piggy bank carefully saved now can make for a comfortable old age. Remember what Einstein replied when asked what the most powerful force in the universe is: "Simple interest."
Sure guys your age worry about the future but one good thing to remember is that you are only young once. Have a good time, build memories and take care of yourself. You will do well.
Stop fretting. Start working toward something. Start making plans. Career plans. Travel plans. Realistic plans. Just rolling along and being fretful won't get you where you want to be.
And be open to everything...new experiences...new people....new places. I guarantee you'll meet some wonderful (and some difficult) people along the way.
I see too many young people too afraid to live...to take chances...to get out there and be adults.
I think it is excellent that you are questioning yourself. It shows a desire to find something.
I agree with all the other posts. I'm not old myself and most of the times I can't even decide on what to do today, but one thing I learned is that don't try to "skip" your age. I'm on the same boat as you, it scares the hell out of me that I have no idea how my future will be, but at least I have plans on what I want it to be. All I can say is, take your time and explore yourself.
There's no limit to the dreams that we wild things see.
I'm 18 years old, so 2 years younger than you. I, too, have a lot of fears just like you. Sometimes, I think that: "What would I do? What will my future be like?". I thought I would give up a lot of times but then, I always manage to get up. Why? Because I have a lot of dreams that need to be done. I can't give up before I do them all, after that, I think that I could die in peace with no regret.
You are old now, you are not a child anymore. You could do anything that you want and no one is going to stop you. Then, go! You are born with 100% possibility so you must go with 100% possibility. You can't let your fear get the best of you like that! The dream you dreamt are shining now and you have to catch it before it's too late.
Do your best! You will surely, surely find something that for the only you in this world.
fortunately my emotional and mental age is in sync with my physical age. i love being 31, and i'm gonna have a hell of a time out of my 30s. wouldn't want to be in the 20s or teenage years even if i could. i was such a kid and didn't have the foundation i have today. no thanks. those days are gone. i love the responsibility and weight that you gain to your life as you get older. and it's amazing to watch the same thing happening to your friends.
this said. you're 20. you're barely out of the high school. i wouldn't worry about being a grown-up yet. you're fully legal, but 20 is not a man yet. wait till you get to 30s. if you still want to be a teenager when you're 30, that's when you have problems with growing up.
and if you do your 20s right, your 30s will be when the real fun starts.
Right now, I'm learning what it's like to be 50. You're learning what it's like to be 20. That's all good and normal.
Don't look back. Pick something and pursue it. You can change your mind when appropriate. Your 20s will set the stage for the rest of your life a helluva lot more than your teen years ever will.
Hey Youngsters, life is an experience, we make plans and such, but life doesn't necessarily listen. Live life, love life, sometimes we are down because life sends us a curve, but overall, those we met and those we love outweigh anything else, Jim
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