Hey, I am so sick of queens, I just find them really annoying.
1. Are all gay men queens?
2. If not, where do I find gay mean that aren't?
I have moved back in with my parents so I'm in a small place at the moment so things such as joining a gay interest group are a bit out of the question.
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Is brooklyn where all the butch men are at? lol
I would say there are more straight-acting gay men than queens, its just that queens stand out and straight-acting guys dont.
I do know what you mean though, i went to my first gay club not so long ago, it was full of queens and drag acts, well... i had an open mind but the drag queen singing was awfull, just awfull, a terrible noise, corny, cheap, rough, in other words i didnt like it. Though in another club, it was full of the best looking men i,d ever seen. I didnt know a place existed as ive lived in small towns.
The thing is, internet dating has has narrowed the playing field, you need to get out there to really see whats about, though i know its not easy.
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1. No not every gay man is a "Queen". When I first came out (and before that even) I wouldn't dare talk to any guys who were what you would call a Queen, now I just don't care because people have more to show then what you initially see on the outside.
2. Gay men of all varieties are everywhere, the ones you don't find so easy are the ones whose behaviour often resembles that of heterosexual men. There are many clubs around the world where gay people get together and participate in different activities and its not particularly hard to find them either.
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They maybe less easy to spot, but then, some of the Queens you've spotted may not be gay anyway.
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No, not all gay men are Queens.
Us so-called 'straight-acting' homosexuals are out here in the world. You will find that we pretty much shun the typical watering holes of gay males (urban centers/bars and clubs) and tend to live in more rural areas.
Straight acting usually means that we are less 'active' in the community, and less likely to be seen or recognized as being 'gay'.
There is most likely at least 3 'straight acting' gay men to every 'queen' you see.
I suspect that a decent chunk of the nelly queen types you meet are doing it to 'fit in' with their group, much like cheerleaders become bitches and Emos wear black - coupled with the honest desire to be seen as gay - everyone one knows that a lisp and a swish means 'gay' - it is nearly universal.
Also to note that a lot more bottoms adopt 'queenie' behaviors. Which identifies them as 'bottoms'. Ask anyone in the gay community what effeminate effeminate behaviors translate to when it comes to role in bed, and the majority will automatically assume 'bottom'.
So it serves several purposes.
I believe you will find that the Leather Scene has less 'queens' in it, as the Bear/Wolf Scene. Other scenes seem to 'allow' Nelly behaviors more.
Also the difference between Rural (Usually conservative) and Urban (Usually more liberal) settings tend to determine the number of 'queens' compared to straight acting.
Cultures on the international level also have huge differences. There was a guy from I believe Turkey who bemoaned the differences between American Gays and Middle Eastern Gays, one thing being the over all behavior (effeminate/masculine ratios) and the odd habit of shaving ones body.
Why adopt 'effeminate mannerisms'?
1. It makes it easier to denote that you are a bottom man.
2. It makes it easier to find other gay men.
3. It is part of 'fitting in' with your group. All groups adopt behaviors and mannerisms which are then stereotypes - such as the American Black man adopting 'ebonics' or 'Thug Speak' - many of which are highly educated and know their grammar and words but adopt this cultural lingo to fit in and identify with their 'group'.
4. Militant homosexuality: We are here, we are Queer mentality lent itself to openly, obvious gay behaviors which served a purpose in the Dark 20th Century at the opening of gay rights movement(s). Today it is so ingrained that we carry on the tradition. For USA it has a lot to do with Stonewall riots and the TD/TG sparking off the Revolution. Understand that Stonewall Riots were not over homosexuality, they were started over the right to wear women's clothing and grew to be more inclusive of LGB(t) rights.
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Just curious, why do so many here talk about how much they aren't attracted to feminine men, queens, flamers, etc, and then sites like grindr are supposed to be filled with similar things, in other words it's obvious that the majority (at least a very large portion) of the gay male world isn't a queen, and yet people keep posting here asking why every gay man is? :confused:
It doesn't make sense!
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Straight Acting: Drink ten pints or larger, grab a kebab from Salmonella's on the way home get in and beat seven shades of shite out of the wife.
Give me a queen any day!
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