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So how important is the "connection" when you meet somone?
#1
So I met this guy online a while back and after chatting for a week or so we agreed to meet up for dinner. We had a good time he's very nice and sweet yet I didnt feel that we had much in common, that being our first date I thought to myself that I should be more patient and that next time we go out I'll try to get to know him better.

I just came back from the movies and we had some dinner earlier, needless to say I still feel that we dont have a "connection" or didnt "click". I mean we manage to talk about all kinds of stuff and there hasn't been any awkwardness so far, We are in a sense comfortable with each others presence.

To be fair about this I on the other hand, need a while to get used to people and learn more about them so that I can sort of become funny or talkative lol, I know that sounds weird but I mean, I just need to know them more so that I can be myself more and show more humor.

So here`s the question, how much do you emphasize "clicking" in the first few times you meet? Would you just know from the first time, or would you give it say another 4-5 chances?
And another thing is that we have agreed that we arent looking fro a one time thing, so so far our two encounters have been very platonic with some minor flirting, I would go further and try to be a bit more friendlier as in give him kiss good night or something, but Im worried to scare him away(Like I did last time with another guy :S)

So my second question is at what point do you guys think I should try to suggest to take things a bit further to let him know im interested and want to take things a bit further so that in a sense I can be more comfortable around him ?

(Sorry if my description isnt very coherent Tongue dunno how to explain it better lol)

Loki Big Grin
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#2
heyyyy ahmad

i think you should let him get to know you and you do the same too
oh and i have a question does he really care about you.
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#3
Honestly, I'm not a "clicker" because I'm shy and it takes me awhile to feel comfortable with people. With my girlfriend we worked together for almost a year -- I thought she was an ass & she thought I was a bitch -- when we finally went out as friends we didn't click or have any romantic connection but I realized that I didn't hate her so we hung out again. Before I knew it we were spending most evenings together watching movies & cooking dinner together, and after a couple weeks of really getting to know each other we "clicked". I really don't think we should be expected to have some deep connection with people before we actually KNOW them, I've certainly never experienced it & I'm really glad the women I've dated have given me more than one chance at being charming.
Also, if you're interested in him I would either make a move & kiss him at the end of the night or tell him how you feel.
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#4
My 2 cents

Go out on a few more dates and see if things move forward organically. Hopefully chemistry will develope but if not you have a new friend.
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#5
toomuch45 Wrote:heyyyy ahmad

i think you should let him get to know you and you do the same too
oh and i have a question does he really care about you.


Hey hey!

Does he really care about me? well I dunno He has been really friendly as in our conversations weren't one sided for example, well.... there havent been any clear signs so i really have no clue :S

btw get yo A$$ on MSN havent talked to you in a long time!!

@Rosie Yea I think I should be more patient spend some more time with him, and maybe drop a few hints next time we meet Smile

@JFierce I hope so too, though I yea I guess I can use an extra friend in the world

Thanks for the replys'
Love you guys and hope you had a great weekend Big Grin
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#6
For me...no connection/chemistry...no dice. I wouldn't pursue it at all. I would rather be alone. I think you should trust your instincts. It could be that the "connection" is not all that important for your potential relationship. There are as many different types of relationships and marriages as there are people.

If you stay true to yourself you will always be OK...Good Luck to you!
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#7
I am afraid that I am with East ^ on this one. The chemical connection has got to be there for me or it just doesnt work. When I was younger I tried to "force" a couple of relationships cause I thought that they SHOULD work out but they never came to anything. So, for me, the "click" is important.
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#8
Sometimes the click is from first sight (lol), but other times you need time. TYou don't neccesarily have to end up as boyfriends, right? Maybe you can be just friends. :]
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#9
My tuppence worth...

If you enjoy his company see him again, maybe a connection will develop, and if it doesn't it was a pleasant way to spend the time. On the other hand if you have got other things you'd rather do, then you have answered your own question.
Fred

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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#10
I'm with Rosie on this one. I wouldn't take things further until you 'clicked'. Maybe you never will but having one more friend is no bad thing.
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