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Some ideas..
#11
First, I frown on the word "Stalking" From here on out you shall refer to this process as 'Intel Gathering' Ooooo makes us sound more like NSA, or HLS or some other alphabet Agency.

Second, We note that every guy in a relationship has told you to forget it, don't set your eyes on just one fellow. They are more fish the sea, and other harsh notions completely and utterly having forgotten that love is blind, the heart is blind and while Mr. Winky has an eye, I fear that he too it totally blind.

Mind relationships tend to kill the romantic side of the heart, leaving this big empty blind spot to the potentials for romance.

Why? most because they know that they are in a same sex relationships, its the same sex, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and if they are really lucky, decade after decade.

Such forces have a tendency to kill the romance centers of the heart and leave fella unable to comprehend how that one cute guy at work becomes the center of your fantastically rich fantasy world of a future could have been.

My Advice: Ignore the stuffy old, married men. :biggrin:

Second. Stop trying to figure out how to get in a relationship like marriage/dating with this fellow.

Instead figure out how to become friends with him. Find out what his interests are, maybe bowling, or softball or whatever young people do besides keep their nose in their Iphone 8 or whatever.

One rather successful conversation piece is keeping track of American Football Games. Get to know some of the players and their positions on the field. Just being able to know who won the Redskins vs Cowboys (yes the game is this racist, cowboys and Indians - shocking! Oh the Indians won, unlike American History) gives you an opening line toward exploring typical male interests (sports watching, AKA Modern Gladiator Games).

Once you get a friendly toe in the door, so to speak, you can start discovering other interesting things such as his stance on abortion, stem cell research, gays marrying, politics... But before you hit those hot topics you need to know what he feels about Baseball, Basketball, Football and other sundry 'socially acceptable' subjects.

You need to do this like a trained spy, All exterior data, such as their income, job history, home location, which twitter feeds they follow are helpful to a point, but the real data you need can readily be hidden, especially if they are not actively gay.

What does Actively Gay mean?

If you stumble across my facebook page or my twitter page it will bore you to tears. I was following Handyman stuff, Carpentry stuff, hunter/hunting stuff. I rarely if ever actually follow LGBT on social media. Its not because I'm straight, its because Gay is only a sexual orientation for me, its not a lifestyle, its not the sole purpose of my existence.

There are actually a lot of gay men in the world who are like this. Gay is way far down on their list of interests, so they come off seeming to be a straight male.

The only way you can really know the sexual orientation of anyone is when they tell you 'I'm straight' or 'I'm bi' or 'I'm gay' or whatever.

Strangers and mere co-workers will not just offer that sort of data. Well some will, but then it gets all creepy and sad and other things.

Set out on friendship building first and foremost. When you two reach the stage where going to a game, movie, whatever as friends is possible - meaning you two are meeting outside of the office, then you can bring up the subject.
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#12
Why don't you just ask him out for a beer on a Friday right after work? I'd ask a couple of other people to go with you so it's not just the two of you. Make it a habit to go out with a few co workers every Friday. Always invite him, so that you can scope him out more, find out more about him, and develop a friendship.

In this scenario, its just you and a couple of co workers going out to let out some steam on a Friday afternoon. This is not weird and there are no expectations.
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#13
lol Thanks guys. And of course there's more "fish in the sea", but seeing he's one of the only guys I've been a little more interested in than usual, during the past 7 months or so of my "hunting", I'm sure it won't hurt too much to get know him/snoop around to find some info' on him.

I never said I was jumping the gun and wanting to marry him. I have been out to events and what not. No one really stood out to me so far. I see this a little better than doing all that online dating crap.

And about the dating people at work, I'm aware of the risks and how it could be unprofessional. Seeing how my only intentions are to kinda' test the waters and see who this guy is, I see no harm in doing that. If I was dealing with my life career on the line, I think I'd put more thought into all this and probably not go too far into it. Towards the end of the day, at the moment at least, he's just another guy I'm interested in. Not my future husband or something. But thanks for advice, guys!
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