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Somewhat a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation
#11
Thanks for the input guys, and sorry for not getting back sooner. Had some problems with my ISP and had to prepare some stuff for the water rationing (not sure this is the correct term), which had just began two days ago.

I wanted to use the spoiler tag to minimize the vertical scrolling, but it doesn't look good. I like to do that in the other forums to avoid double posting. Anyways, hope this won't be a nuisance to read.


megumidesu Wrote:/snip
Yes, he is indeed a very good friend. We're not exactly like those kind of best buddies you would see in the movies (somewhat inseparable, constantly playing pranks/jokes/talking shit, etc.). He played sports, while I don't. He's the good no smoking/drinking guy, while I'm the opposite. But at the end of the day ('tis a figure of speech - I don't see him every single day), we turned to each other - ranging something trivial like venting out, doing favours or sharing cute stories about his wife/kid; to more serious stuff like secrets that neither of us would be willing to tell anyone else.

To be honest, I'm not sure why he still cares for me. We both have a various circle of friends. Well, nowadays he has more friends than me though I used to be the most resourceful one.

And thanks for the compliments. Smile


CellarDweller Wrote:/snip
Glad that someone got the reference. Smile Actually, I was a bit worried about the word b**ch used in the title. Hah!


southbiochem Wrote:/snip
Yeah, I believe the first problem is that I still couldn't admit to myself that I want him. I like to think that I'm content as far as our friendship goes. Perhaps I've went too far, that I'm actually somehow convinced myself that I'm totally 100% okay with he not ever going to be with me and that he will never feel the same about me. And yes, I told him that on that night. But I guess you're right... I'm never going to be satisfied unless he's mine.


freelandia Wrote:/snip
I'm sorry, due to my own ignorance I couldn't really grasp the idea of the love hungover that you're referring to.

Perhaps I should add few more information. Around 6 years ago, we've got really close, which eventually made me fall for him. This was before he got married (he was still dating the girl who is now his wife).


For the rest of you guys, and as a conclusion to this post, allow me to say this:

It's really not my intention to have him. And I'm not trying to play games here. Though now I think I may have subconsciously wanted to. Yeah, I think it's better not to push him further with this. There's no use to put him in an uncomfortable conversation (again) just to satisfy my curiosity.

As for what should I do. Indeed I need to move on. And I hope I'm able to do that.

Thanks again.
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#12
Don't think this requires a new thread, so I'll put it here.

After I wrote and previewing this post, I realized it's quite a useless post. More like a short novel. LOL. I thought of not posting it, but it's been a while since I wrote anything this long and in a very fluid way (not sure how to describe it). Kinda hate not to show it off. Hah! Tongue

So, I'm going to put a spoiler and summarize everything in just a few sentences.

1. He saw me earlier today
2. He expressed his concern for my behaviour these past few weeks
3. Going to see him again this Friday and he's sort of expecting me to talk to him
4. Thinking he might have something to say too since we barely talk about it
5. ???


Spoiler:
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