04-12-2014, 06:05 AM
Iâve been with my current boyfriend for a little over 6 six months. He is HIV positive and I love him. His virus status is of very little concern to me; the man is gorgeous, loving, and kind. However, when it comes to the bedroom he tells me heâs tired from working all day. Alternatively, if I try to come on to him I usually get pushed away. He tells me his HIV meds take away all his desire to have sex. We are hoping his Dr will change his meds so that we can have a normal sex life.
However, what if his libido doesnât return, what then? I love him and need him. Nevertheless, thereâs one thought in the back of my mind. That maybe, heâs just not sexually attracted to me. This is a possibility I need to prepare for. We have had sex several times and when he is able to maintain an erection, itâs great. However, Iâm a little confused since he tells me itâs his HIV meds that are causing his ED and not me, then why can I get him hard when Iâm giving him head but as soon as he tries to put himself inside of me he starts to go soft. I get frustrated, he gets embarrassed, and I feel bad for him.
I am very open about sex and can talk about it anytime, anywhere, with anyone. On the other hand, my boyfriend finds it hard to talk about sex of any kind. When I try to talk with him about possibilities other than medication side effects that may be causing his ED (IE: âMeâ) the conversation ends with him becoming very defensive. I try to tell him this is not just his problem but mine also. Nevertheless, as far as heâs concerned the discussion is over.
When we became a couple, I became aware of his baggage and was willing to help him carry them. So if the problem is his meds then maybe sex for us can return to normal. However, if itâs me and heâs just trying to keep from hurting my feelings, what then? I Love Him and donât know what Iâm going to do if the change of in meds doesnât work. He has already expressed his concern that I may leave him if our sex life does not improve. I donât walk to leave but I want a satisfying sex life also. Iâve never had this problem before and need some advice on how to handle this.
However, what if his libido doesnât return, what then? I love him and need him. Nevertheless, thereâs one thought in the back of my mind. That maybe, heâs just not sexually attracted to me. This is a possibility I need to prepare for. We have had sex several times and when he is able to maintain an erection, itâs great. However, Iâm a little confused since he tells me itâs his HIV meds that are causing his ED and not me, then why can I get him hard when Iâm giving him head but as soon as he tries to put himself inside of me he starts to go soft. I get frustrated, he gets embarrassed, and I feel bad for him.
I am very open about sex and can talk about it anytime, anywhere, with anyone. On the other hand, my boyfriend finds it hard to talk about sex of any kind. When I try to talk with him about possibilities other than medication side effects that may be causing his ED (IE: âMeâ) the conversation ends with him becoming very defensive. I try to tell him this is not just his problem but mine also. Nevertheless, as far as heâs concerned the discussion is over.
When we became a couple, I became aware of his baggage and was willing to help him carry them. So if the problem is his meds then maybe sex for us can return to normal. However, if itâs me and heâs just trying to keep from hurting my feelings, what then? I Love Him and donât know what Iâm going to do if the change of in meds doesnât work. He has already expressed his concern that I may leave him if our sex life does not improve. I donât walk to leave but I want a satisfying sex life also. Iâve never had this problem before and need some advice on how to handle this.