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The Monster In My Bed
#31
Beaux Wrote:Yes, I have to leave. I cannot take this anymore.

I blame myself for letting him put me in this position. Every single friend I had made here has separated themselves from me because of his behavior, and I can't blame them. All it takes is them witnessing one of his outbursts, and they no longer want to be involved in my life. The single friend I have left won't allow him in her house.

I don't know how or when I will get away from him, but I will.

~Beaux

He has separated you from your friends? That's a tell tell sign of an abusive relationship. But you already know that.

Be careful, these things become really nasty the more he suspects distance. Is their help available?
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#32
Well, i am glad that you have gotten over this person, try to find someone who sees your dignity and who knows the price of the time you give him. if any person merely sees you as an instrument, i advise you to leave that person immediately, you may not know it the whole time you were with him, but in the end, true colors always show, nothing can keep that from being revealed, every man has his end.
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#33
Beaux Wrote:I would have never believed myself capable of putting up with the behavior I have endured since marrying this man. I used to tell people in abusive relationships "just leave! It's not worth it!", all the while thinking to myself how stupid they were for staying.

The fact of the matter, is that from inside the relationship it is never that straight forward. After a tantrum, he is SO nice..SO compassionate...SO caring.....Until the cycle starts again....

My income tax return should be in soon, and after I get it, I will have real options for leaving. Until then I am just going to be very very quiet and very very careful...

~Beaux

Is it direct deposit? Mailed?

How are you going to ensure that he doesn't get it and spend it before you can?
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#34
Would anyone be willing to pull resources for Beaux's benefit? I am willing to volunteer, but a course of action must be calmly considered.
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#35
Good point, Borg.

Beaux, if you have a joint bank account you can always go in to the bank and set up another, personal, account that he does not have access to.
I bid NO Trump!
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#36
I want to say something profound, but I haven't anything. I am, quite literally, overwhelmed that so many people care what happens to me.
~Beaux
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#37
Beaux Wrote:I want to say something profound, but I haven't anything. I am, quite literally, overwhelmed that so many people care what happens to me.
~Beaux

Nothing profound necessary. You're a friend though you may have not meet anybody here physically we hear your words and get to know you and yes even care.
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#38
hank Wrote:Nothing profound necessary. You're a friend though you may have not meet anybody here physically we hear your words and get to know you and yes even care.

This ^^. Of course we care Beaux, we just want you to be safe and away from that monster.
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#39
Beaux Wrote:I would have never believed myself capable of putting up with the behavior I have endured since marrying this man. I used to tell people in abusive relationships "just leave! It's not worth it!", all the while thinking to myself how stupid they were for staying.

The fact of the matter, is that from inside the relationship it is never that straight forward. After a tantrum, he is SO nice..SO compassionate...SO caring.....Until the cycle starts again....

My income tax return should be in soon, and after I get it, I will have real options for leaving. Until then I am just going to be very very quiet and very very careful...

~Beaux

I know how you feel, my ex was (and still is) a text book example of a sociopath, he fit all of the traits. After I let him move in with me it immediately turned bad, and it took two agonizing years to get rid of him. At first it was little things like smoking in the house when I asked him not to, then he kept quitting jobs, then he'd take my checkbook and credit cards without asking, and it got worse and worse. When I told him I wanted him to move out it turned into physical fights, and then after he finally did move out he stalked me for about 6 months afterwards. By the time he was finally out of my life I had lost my house and filed for bankruptcy, I had nothing left. Thankfully marriage wasn't legal back then, because he probably would have talked me into it and it would have been 10x worse than it was.

I'm sure if we had been a heterosexual couple he would have went to jail many times, but when the police would see two gay men in a domestic dispute, they wouldn't do a thing, I think they thought it was funny. I know it can be very frustrating.
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#40
Bhp91126 Wrote:Wow, just wow. His attitude makes me speechless.

Get out of this situation as soon as you can and be very careful about money, finances and obligations.

Well said! You deserve someone that is as loving as you are if not better.
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