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The (supposedly) funniest jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe
#1
I don't know about you but I don't find these particularly funny:

Comedian Rob Auton has won an award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

The 30-year-old, from York, was given the prize by digital TV channel Dave, whose panel put a selection of their favourites to a public vote.

He won for the joke: "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."

The top 10 funniest included jokes by Tim Vine and Marcus Brigstocke.

The judges sat through hours of material before nominating their favourite three gags for the shortlist.

The top 10 were:

Rob Auton - "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."

Alex Horne - "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying."

Alfie Moore - "I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same."

Tim Vine - "My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'."

Gary Delaney - "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."

Phil Wang - "The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men."

Marcus Brigstocke - "You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost."

Liam Williams - "The universe implodes. No matter."

Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance."

Chris Coltrane - "The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately."

Auton, who recently quit his job selling paintbrushes in London's Soho to perform full time, said: "I am honoured to receive this award and just pleased that a joke that tackles the serious issue of the invention of a new chocolate bar can be laughed at by the people of Britain."

The Edinburgh Fringe, the world's largest arts festival, runs until Monday 26 August.

This year's three-week festival has seen 2,871 shows performed by 24,107 artists in 273 venues across Scotland's capital city.

In order to compile the shortlist, each of the judges sat through an average of 60 different comedy performances and sifted through more than 3,600 minutes of material.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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