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Today and something nonsenseical
#1
Today, well it was just another day. It felt good to not get out of bed, but I had to. Had an appointment with the therapist who always makes me laugh Smile Todays therapy was fun, she swore a lot and I laughed so hard. She also made my mouth drop Smile she says I should try and find a boyfriend :O wasn't expecting that today. I finished The Fellowship of The Ring today. Made me feel accomplished, I'm in love with The Lord of The Rings, often times I wish I was in that world and not here. To have a friend like Samwise Gamgee. But alas I've come to realize something about myself, a friendship with me never lasts more than a year or two. Even if they did nothing wrong I will slowly push away. Soon I will have no friends, I can feel it already with my current friends. And I don't know how to stop this 'cycle'. One thing I meant to say but didn't when my therapist asked "Does being alone and secluded feel good for a while?" I replied "Yes for a while" but I also meant to say but didn't was "After the good goes away and the depression deepens with loniless, I feel at home."

You have seen many day. But few a night. A coarse book, deep and sad. But yet, full of joy and happiness in the end.
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#2
Aw I want to hug you. Nothing awkward or anything.
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#3
*happy happy smile*

I am glad you have found a therapist who you feel comfortable with. And that she even makes you laugh... that's something Smile

Many friendships won't last forever. People change. That's natural SadSilence, don't worry about this. One day you will find a friend who will be there for you for a long time. Maybe you won't see each other for week or months. But it won't matter.

I have a friend that I saw just twice in my life. Several years our friendship was very intense, we exchanged emails and texts daily. For several months we kept sending each other several hundreds texts A DAY. I haven't seen her for ten years, haven't talked to her in the last year. But I know if I call her right now, we will have a good time.

I don't have any intense friendship right now. I have several causal, in fact I have more on-line friends than the "real" ones. I am not a party-goer and I like it this way.

When I was 15 I had friends mostly from school and our friendship usually lasted a school year or two. I don't think that what you are experiencing is unusual.

It's perfectly okay to feel at home when you are lonely. It was your home for so long, you can't just run away and pretend that those years didn't happen. Don't be too hard on yourself, it will take time to feel comfortable among people.
Just keep trying like you are. You are doing wonderfully! Bighug
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#4
Glad to see you are connecting with your therapist.
She sounds fun. Confusedmile:
Bighug
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#5
SadSilence Wrote:... She also made my mouth drop Smile she says I should try and find a boyfriend :O ...
do you think love is a cure (yes).
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#6
There are now over 7 billion paths on planet earth, we each are assigned one of those paths. Since this planet is very tiny, all of these paths are crossing, even running on top of one another for short distances.

For instance, we go to school and have a class of say 25 other individuals. For a year, perhaps two we share the same class, but eventually we either go to another class or we graduate and move on. For a short period of time, 25 paths are right on top of each other.

Paths cross, paths run parallel, some run on top of each other. A few will meet up and go very long distances together, many - no - most will only meet up a short distance.

It happens to all of us. We are all moving, constantly - even when we are sitting still we are moving.

1-2 years of being friendly with people is, in this hectic, uber-fast world is about average, if not actually a real accomplishment especially where you are in life in that period of life we call 'puberty' where some of the most profound changes in our lives take place.
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#7
glad your feeling better Bighug
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