Well here I go again

[dlboy53]

Well I'm in one of those moods again where I feel so alone but can never seem to move forward. I not sure if its because I'm scare to move forward or if I'm just stuck in a rut. I want so bad to hang out with people that are comfortable with who I am but it seems like every time I try to go out which seems to be in a different city so I have to plan thing right and make the most of it. but the two place that I feel comfortable at. The first one is a dance club where I feel very comfortable at because I like to dance so I feel like my time is not wasted, but then this place is full of younger people so I feel like no one takes an interest in me even though I might fancy some of them ,but then I have to watch what I do because I not so sure if they are gay or straight( the place seems more straight at times then gay). The other place is just a bar but with a older crowd but not very busy most of the time. Here I feel bored because there never seems to be anything to do but drink. Both of these place I try to keep an open mind but seems like I fall flat on my face or no one seems interested in me and I can't figure it out some time i feel like its because i'm a bit on the heavy side but hide my weight well.

I guess over all what I'm saying is I'm depressed because I want to love someone and be loved. I want to spend time with someone have fun together. It just seems impossible to find the right person. I have even tried going to GBLT center but every time I go there it sees to be closed, so I 'm running into brick walls all the time like Its not meant to be.

Sorry for the rant.

[Nick9]

Wouldn't it be great if we all from GS could go to the same bar from time to time? :biggrin: I mean this place is the best I have found, but the physical contact is missing. Looking for a friend in real life seems to be harder sometimes than finding one online.
Is it because the real world is smaller? :biggrin:

How about starting with friends? You know, people know other people... I would try some local clubs, it doesn't matter if it is chess club, or classes for solo dancers. Try to regularly go to places where you can meet people. Not just once, but again and again, so that you can get to know each other. Call the LGBT center before you go, don't give up, it is a good place to start with

Are there some hobbies that you like? Some that you would like to share with your partner in the future? Start looking at a place where a person with such a hobby would go.

I am sorry, it's so noisy outside right now that my brain refuses to think in English. I hope you know what I meant.
Come here more often. You will feel better, maybe less stressed and more comfortable. And it will show in your RL.
a big hug for you

[fenris]

I think starting with some - maybe new - Hobbies is a good idea.... and Hobbies can be very important for you and others, too. There are some many important things ... gay rights, animal rights, pagan rights...wait ...thats me :-)... and you can find new friends, too.
Or open a social group here on gs... maybe for people who feel alone... and maybe start to talk by webcam.. whatever.. there are so many possibilities. Start something on facebook...and I´m sure new friends will come. Just Do Something...
Sure here are more younger people... but thats not wrong... older people are here, too but honestly I don´t think that the age is important

Do something for yourself ...

Don´t think that you are alone ...thats not true ... we are here and if you thought about I´m sure you find many others which are there, too. Go out into nature...start photopraphy... filming

I have a lot of luck that I like to be alone... so I not really feel alone ... on the other side I have so much to do that I have no time to feel really alone... but I have other problems, its not that I´m free of problems... I would like to chat more or build up stronger friendships but as a follow of my illness I have a bit contact difficulties and I sometimes do not like to talk and people think I´m not interested to build up a better contact... so you see, some problems are everywhere.

[pellaz]

Denver has a gay country western dance and bar. For the men and ladies:biggrin: let your red neck shine. and if your not sure how they have lessons. put a romance add up "dance partner wanted for Charlies square dance lessions.

volunteer at the local lgbt center, gay pride is coming up and the need the workers
elections are upon us, do some phone work for them.

exercise
running, goto the gym, hiking (buy a guide book for ID and start with the easy trails), yoga.

try to keep the alcohol out of your life

[dlboy53]

Thanks for all the kind words everyone but to add another hobby to all the ones that I do now just would not fit I think I have way to many to begin with. I'm very big into the arts so that consumes most of my free time to begin with. By arts I mean music which I can 3 instruments and learning a fourth and I sing but not solo. I am an artist that knows how to paint draw, sculpture, pottery, beading as in Native American work (which I am very big into and take most of my time) I go camping hiking, I like to ride bikes which I do both mtn and road biking. I love to dance and go to the movie so as far as hobbies go I don't have problems in that department.

I live in a smaller town so there is no real gay hangout in the area the close would be 25 mile away and to be quite honest there is not much there either for what I can tell. As for friend knowing friends well 99.9 percent of my friends are married with kids and ho very religious to where their churches are very hard core against gays and all they want to do is try to hook me up with girls. Yes a few people know that I'm gay but that's not many.

I just want to get to know more people that are gay so I don't feel so alone and worthless. I want someone to know me for me not for the shell I have on to protect me from all the hate against gays. I want to know that someone can hold me and understand my hurt as I understand their hurt. My heart is alone and hurting, hurting so bad that at times I think there is only one way out. I don't expect people to understand how I feel as really can anyone understand the emotions of another or the feelings.

I hope this give a bit of insight thanks
Lee

[dlboy53]

Well found an activity that i have not done but they do a gay version of square dancing so I'm think on checking that out on Monday. Not holding my breath for anything but hopefully it will take an edge of me a bit.

[zeon]

Hello Del,
Instead of going to different cities to meet new people why not have a bar which you will call your local? Get to know people and mingle with them... What you find in gay bars is two people who take an interest can be too nervous to approach one another... Dont worry or stress because things will be easier in the end mister and to be honest with relationships... Sod em they only end in heart ache usually... Or drama llamas...

You say that you are bored in the bar with the older crowd... Why not take a pack of cards in and get to know locals and i know often i go in and play chase the ace... We all change up a pound into 20p's and the cards get drawn.. Placing a 20p bet we have a card each and i cant remember the rest of the game lol... Bollocks or improvise... I believe in a motto called Positive attitude = positive results.. Dont show the IM BORED side be determined to get to know people get to have a laugh and arrange to meet others over coffee etc...

To be honest with larger people as i tell my friend oppisite... Being big isnt an issue it just means u got more to hold onto and your not shagging skeletor! Also its a sign that the food must be good at home.. Dont let down moments get to you mister and everytime u feel down do something to make yaself feel good about something.. I know when its with me i go and do something constructive like sort out the garden or wash the car and make a area untidy become tidy... Then look back and say I DONE THIS!

Kindesty regards

zeon x

[Nick9]

I am sorry to underestimate your hobbies :eek:
Try again the LGBT center. Others may share tips with you and it may help

And good luck with the dancing!

[Rainbowmum]

I have to agree with all the above posters.
However I would like to add something that may help you.

I am very much like fenris , I enjoy my own company and am very comfortable being alone.
The reason for this is ,that long ago I decided to accept myself warts and all .
I also love the person that I have become.

That comfort zone is there due to self acceptance.
when you look in the mirror every day , smile at something positive in you.
Love and acceptance are so very important to us, and it all starts with how we see our selves.

[James]

Our glbtq center has a website with posted hours and what is going on each day, you might look on line, I agree that most centers only cater to those who can visit 9-5, what dosen't anyone work?
Hopefully they have evening activties also, Jim