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What's my next step?
#1
hey guys

this guys ive been chatting to a bit over the past week or so, i asked him out for drinks last week and he said he couldn't, so this week i asked him for drinks on a specific date (after work thursday, or friday night) - it's thursday night now.

he said he has gym after work so couldn't do it, but that he would love to though. 'let me figure something out' was what he said, and i was like ok cool let me know.

so that was last night. today i havent heard from him, and im just overthinking, whether that was a 'no i dont want to meet you'... or maybe yea i do want to meet you but im working on my schedule.

What next steps should i take guys? Ive been told to leave it and let him get back to me (and totally forget him if he doesnt message me back), OR if he doesn't message me in a few days to give him a message and see how he is.

Thanks guys
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#2
aaaa1aaaaaa Wrote:I've been told to leave it and let him get back to me (and totally forget him if he doesnt message me back), OR if he doesn't message me in a few days to give him a message and see how he is.
That seems to me to be the best advice, since you've already shown your interest and he has declined it twice for schedule conflict, it can be true, but if he was that much interested in you I do not believe that the GYM is a good reason. I know some people are really addicted to their routines and hate breaking it, but if he truly had an iota of interest in meeting with you, I'm pretty certain he would have either re-schedule his gym session or offered you another time for you two to meet. He did neither, so the advice of letting him get back to you and let it go if he doesn't seems to me the most appropriate.
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#3
Yeshua Wrote:I know some people are really addicted to their routines and hate breaking it, but if he truly had an iota of interest in meeting with you, I'm pretty certain he would have either re-schedule his gym session or offered you another time for you two to meet.

This. ^^ I get the gym thing. Some people need to stick to a very regimented routine either to stay motivated, or to meet their personal goals.

But he didn't offer an alternative, yeah? So I would say he's either ambivalent to the idea of meeting up, or he actually wants to say no but is trying to let you down easy.

Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I'd take it. So I say, do nothing, and that includes not waiting for him to make a move. The ball may be in his court, but it doesn't sound like he's interested in picking it up.
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#4
The rule of thumb for planning hang-outs with anybody is that if you proffer a meeting time/place and they turn it down, they are responsible for letting you know what does work. If they don't try to, they aren't interested. He's already given you the implication that he will try to, so just wait it out and let him either do or die. I wouldn't message him back either way. Ball's in his court now, as others said. Don't put too much effort in on somebody for whom you are only an option.
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