10-26-2014, 05:30 PM
Hi, I am so happy to be a part of this forum. You guys rock and are great source of advice. This problem of mine deals with my friend. Majority of my friends are either married or living together and they are heterosexuals. I have had a friend now almost 20 years, we were great as friends until she found a boyfriend and he moved in with her.
During the past 1.5 years I noticed a change with her. We used to meet almost once a month for coffee or lunch and recently during this time she made no effort as to meet and always made excuses. All my other friends where there for me except her when I broke my foot. She lives a few miles away so it is not like she can not visit or meet.
Somehow I think she and her boyfriend made some sort of agreement for her not to meet me. No they do not know I am gay. I am not out so I like to keep things this way.
I picked a bone with her last month but all of a sudden she became defensive and told me that she sometimes emails or phones her other friend once every 6 months. She also told me if I keep this up that I will soon loose all my friend and endup being alone.
Now 2 months later I have lost all feelings for her friendship and upset that she does not take time to meet me in person. It bothers me that things have changed and she wants to keep this relationship virtual.
I have always been there for her when she needed help with her website and design work, so you get the picture...
I don't want to confront her, nor I want to talk to her, she calls always from her car when she is stuck. Before all this if I called her at home, either her boyfriend was there and the conversation became very business like or she would tell me she is busy working from home.
Anyways I will shutup now and see what you guys think. Do relationships change because of ones partner? I guess that is sadly the case but she does not want to tell me the truth. IF she did tell me it is because of him, I would be understanding but she has not.
During the past 1.5 years I noticed a change with her. We used to meet almost once a month for coffee or lunch and recently during this time she made no effort as to meet and always made excuses. All my other friends where there for me except her when I broke my foot. She lives a few miles away so it is not like she can not visit or meet.
Somehow I think she and her boyfriend made some sort of agreement for her not to meet me. No they do not know I am gay. I am not out so I like to keep things this way.
I picked a bone with her last month but all of a sudden she became defensive and told me that she sometimes emails or phones her other friend once every 6 months. She also told me if I keep this up that I will soon loose all my friend and endup being alone.
Now 2 months later I have lost all feelings for her friendship and upset that she does not take time to meet me in person. It bothers me that things have changed and she wants to keep this relationship virtual.
I have always been there for her when she needed help with her website and design work, so you get the picture...
I don't want to confront her, nor I want to talk to her, she calls always from her car when she is stuck. Before all this if I called her at home, either her boyfriend was there and the conversation became very business like or she would tell me she is busy working from home.
Anyways I will shutup now and see what you guys think. Do relationships change because of ones partner? I guess that is sadly the case but she does not want to tell me the truth. IF she did tell me it is because of him, I would be understanding but she has not.
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