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Worst traits in a partner or friend?
#1
Lots of people have told me that the traits I want to find/avoid in friends and potential partners are pretty different from their own. So I'm kind of curious, what are the traits that you'd be absolutely unable to stand in a friend or lover? Other than some extremely obvious ones I've come up with 4 for myself.

Arrogance: this is way worse than stupidity. If a person is intelligent and arrogant it ultimately doesn't matter since he won't be able to convey his knowledge without being despised for the superior tone. Incredibly annoying.

Narrow-mindedness: Nope, can't stand this either. Even in the most controversial topics I think the ability to remain open to suggestions is vital. Anything else would probably irritate me. Racism is of course out of the question.

Inability to take responsibility: I can forgive most acts if the person behind them just confesses and takes proper responsibility.

Inability to discuss things: This is the one most people seem guilty of. Everyone has flaws, but really? Adults who can't even talk about things calmly annoy me. Whether it be an unfaithful partner or a friend who's done something seemingly unforgivable, if he/she can't talk to me about it without letting emotions get in the way it's definitely unforgivable.

What about you other people? Note: I'm a person who can't stay mad at anyone for more than a few hours and who tries hard not to let emotions get in the way of rationality. A combination of all these traits however, would probably make me snap and go on a rampage O_O
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#2
1. Defensive raging lunatic - people who get angry and start a fight to defend themselves over stuff we should be discussing as rational adults, not temper tantrum throwing children.

2. "Whatever" I hate that reply to a question. Now and honest " It makes no difference to me, you decide." is fine but not that "Whatever" with the sulking that usually follows.

3. Chatter boxes - people who talk non stop for no reason, about nothing at all of import or, who repeat what they said two minutes ago over and over. Say it if it needs to be said, say it ONCE then, shut up and let me process what you said already.
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#3
Lacks loyalty and reliability, not supportive, refuses to understand.
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#4
One of my ex's was soooo clingy that he was literally my shadow. 5-6 times a day I would turn around and bump into him, drove me nuts.

Other things I am not tolerant to in a relationship are unemployment, abuse (Physical, drug or alcohol), intolerance, lying, disloyalty, jealousy and insecurity.
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#5
SolemnBoy Wrote:Arrogance: this is way worse than stupidity. If a person is intelligent and arrogant it ultimately doesn't matter since he won't be able to convey his knowledge without being despised for the superior tone. Incredibly annoying.

Narrow-mindedness: Nope, can't stand this either. Even in the most controversial topics I think the ability to remain open to suggestions is vital. Anything else would probably irritate me. Racism is of course out of the question.

Inability to take responsibility: I can forgive most acts if the person behind them just confesses and takes proper responsibility.

Inability to discuss things: This is the one most people seem guilty of. Everyone has flaws, but really? Adults who can't even talk about things calmly annoy me. Whether it be an unfaithful partner or a friend who's done something seemingly unforgivable, if he/she can't talk to me about it without letting emotions get in the way it's definitely unforgivable.

I couldn't agree more.
I could possibly add more, but you have covered the most important thing's for me at least. Smile

1 other thing I just thought of, is a partner pulling his weight.
Unemployment is quite a threat, and as long as my partner was actually trying to better himself, trying to find work, then I take a dim view.
I'm not saying I wouldn't date an unemployed guy, I am saying I wouldn't date a 'cant be bothered to sort myself out' unemployed guy.
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#6
All the above and add ,backstabbing,manipulator,stubborn, suspicious ,egocentric,know it all,co-dependent and not having their own identity.

Drives me crazy.
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#7
A lot of things, I can't make a list...
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#8
Rainbowmum Wrote:All the above and add ,backstabbing,manipulator,stubborn, suspicious ,egocentric,know it all,co-dependent and not having their own identity.

Drives me crazy.

You know my ex? Wink
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#9
*No Maternal instincts(for partner only)
*stupid--- this one i have to explain i have friends who are less intelligent than me, but their not brain dead stupid. the kind of stupid I'm talking about is the kind that i seems your trying to be an idiot
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#10
The way onlymen type his msgs in forum reminds me of someone annoying. oh well. Smile

What i dont want to a partner or a friend is being Mr. or Ms. I-KNOW-ALL-SO-SHUT-UP.
and what you guys said.
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