strider65 Wrote:turned 50 this past year... will be 51 in March.
I remember an episode of Will and Grace where Jack said something like "oh my God, I'm 30!!! Do you know what that is in gay years?"
I'm actually happy and in a good place right now. I remember every day the friends I had who did not make it.
When you start using the expression "these kids these days" you know you're truly old... but many of my friends back in the 1980s never lived to see their 50s and were cut down in the prime of their life.
HIV was different back then.
So I am pleased to be alive and healthy and I count my blessings.
Guess my question is, number one, are gay men more ageist than other groups of society, and do the young people these days realize that time has pretty much been a constant for 40,000 years of human existence and do they hope they are treated more kindly when they are 50 than they treat 50 year olds now. It's gonna be you someday baby...
Wouldn't give up a year; I'm grateful for every day.
Well, as someone who isn't far behind you birthday-wise, I have given some thought to this topic too.
I do believe agisism has grown and festered in the LGBT community, and I think the "why" of it is directly related to something you mentioned in your post--HIV.
We lost, virtually, an entire generation to AIDS. We lost our role models. Our Elders. Our Storytellers.
Combine that loss with the homophobic/heteronormative culture we grew up in. A culture that perpetuated self hate and shame, endorsed bullying and violence against us, and fought tooth-and-nail to keep us our of the public square and out of the history books.
We are all products of our culture, after all....
~Beaux
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Posts: 4,635
Threads: 45
Joined: May 2014
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign:  Sagittarius
Mood:
I am about to turn 68.
One of the finest conversations I ever had was about 40+ years ago. The other gentleman involved was about 9 years old. Tossing the age barriers away can yield wonders.
I bid NO Trump!
•
Posts: 9,300
Threads: 3,497
Joined: May 2013
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Sagittarius
Mood: None
Age should not be a barrier. Yes, I know that there are some really old pervy guys lusting over a younger generation and that's sad and unfortunate. I try not to put an age barrier up but if I am to meet someone then only thing I ask is that they be physically fit. So many older guys let themselves go to pot, quite literally in some cases and develop pot bellies that are to me, very unattractive. A working brain also helps but then that goes for the young also.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
•
Yeah [MENTION=13210]Beaux[/MENTION] ...pretty much all of my age group died.....I watched them die..one by one..
When I was 21 and I first started working in gay clubs I adored the older guys because I love to learn about ANYTHING...and I loved to hear the stories...
A lot of guys who worked there who were my age had no time for them...their loss...and as it turns out...though it was never a "strategy"...I became and maintained my status as the top grossing bartender for my entire tenure....and people wanted to know "my secret"....
I didn't have one....just fucking be decent and friendly to people and keep a positive attitude..not rocket science. I think that should be obvious to everyone...oh well...
I did have this one guy, Mike, tell me that how I treated older people when I was young would be how I treated myself when I was in their shoes...which I am now. ...and guess what? He was right. I love my generation..and I love my age....am happier than I have ever been at any other moment in my life. My looks have "faded" LOL...my body has wrinkles...I have gained weight when I was physically fit for most of my life...but I am happy inside and none of that crap matters. I earned my wrinkles..and I am comfortable in my own skin more than I have ever been before....
As for ageism...well...I worked in a gay club 'til I turned 40...and the "wisdom" was when you are 30 you are over the hill in gay years...complete rubbish....
There are always going to be youth who are self absorbed and have no time for anyone who they deem "unattractive" or "useless"...both gay and straight...and that is just how it is. They will learn...and if they don't get over it..they will reap what they sow.
Oh yeah..ageism..my BF turned 50 last March...and every once in awhile he will have a moment and suddenly "remember" he has a "5" now in front of his age.,.it is kinda charming....I think he is sexier now than when I met him @20 years old..and he was sexy as hell back then...
In the end...attitude is the key to everything in life....
•
Posts: 12,278
Threads: 2
Joined: Oct 2015
Reputation:
1
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign:  Libra
Mood:
I will turn this around and not think about how I wanna be treated when I'm 50 and instead about how I will be treating people.
I hope I can dish as much pain to people in my 50s as I do now. *crosses fingers*
•
East Wrote:Yeah [MENTION=13210]Beaux[/MENTION] ...pretty much all of my age group died.....I watched them die..one by one..
When I was 21 and I first started working in gay clubs I adored the older guys because I love to learn about ANYTHING...and I loved to hear the stories...
A lot of guys who worked there who were my age had no time for them...their loss...and as it turns out...though it was never a "strategy"...I became and maintained my status as the top grossing bartender for my entire tenure....and people wanted to know "my secret"....
I didn't have one....just fucking be decent and friendly to people and keep a positive attitude..not rocket science. I think that should be obvious to everyone...oh well...
I did have this one guy, Mike, tell me that how I treated older people when I was young would be how I treated myself when I was in their shoes...which I am now. ...and guess what? He was right. I love my generation..and I love my age....am happier than I have ever been at any other moment in my life. My looks have "faded" LOL...my body has wrinkles...I have gained weight when I was physically fit for most of my life...but I am happy inside and none of that crap matters. I earned my wrinkles..and I am comfortable in my own skin more than I have ever been before....
As for ageism...well...I worked in a gay club 'til I turned 40...and the "wisdom" was when you are 30 you are over the hill in gay years...complete rubbish....
There are always going to be youth who are self absorbed and have no time for anyone who they deem "unattractive" or "useless"...both gay and straight...and that is just how it is. They will learn...and if they don't get over it..they will reap what they sow.
Oh yeah..ageism..my BF turned 50 last March...and every once in awhile he will have a moment and suddenly "remember" he has a "5" now in front of his age.,.it is kinda charming....I think he is sexier now than when I met him @20 years old..and he was sexy as hell back then...
In the end...attitude is the key to everything in life....
Having been largely raised by my grandparents, I have always enjoyed the company of older folks. When I first started *really* questioning my sexuality, around 17, I was lucky to meet Joe Hudson. He owned the local Halloween Supply and Sex Toy Store -The Fun Shop- in Shreveport Louisiana. Joe and I were never lovers; he took me under his wing and showed me how life Could Be (gay, straight, or whatever color you were btw). He was a really great man.
His lover, Bill, couldn't stand me! LOL However, after Joe died, Bill and I became friends. Joe fought AIDS with everything he had....17 years...<smdh>
Anyway...THATS what is wrong with these "Damn Kids!"!!! ROFL!!!
XOXO
~Beaux
•
Posts: 1,323
Threads: 6
Joined: Jul 2010
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign:  Capricorn
Mood: None
Anocxu Wrote:There is absolutely nothing frail about you Jimmy. .
I know a social terrorist when I see one lol..
You are a major instigator ..
(Just like me)
Well,, I guess your right. I do terrorize people at the super market when I start humping their leg...... Super Markets are social places aren't they???
<fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee>
Crazy Jim
•
jimcrackcorn Wrote:Well,, I guess your right. I do terrorize people at the super market when I start humping their leg...... Super Markets are social places aren't they???
<fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee>
Crazy Jim Yes........
( I'm terrified to say anything )
•
Posts: 1,323
Threads: 6
Joined: Jul 2010
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Capricorn
Mood: None
Anocxu Wrote:Yes........
( I'm terrified to say anything )
You do know that I really, really, like the quiet types... Stop teasing me!!!
I've almost reached a 1000,
Jim
•
jimcrackcorn Wrote:You do know that I really, really, like the quiet types... Stop teasing me!!!
I've almost reached a 1000,
Jim I don't believe you..!!
Tell me why I should believe you..
Post it now..
I have 10 minutes to kill..
•
|
![[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/08/05/us/05onfire1_xp/05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp)
