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can a bottom become a top?
#1
I don't know what I am really. Here's a background:

In my first relationship we both fucked each other occasionally it was just sort of what we wanted in the moment. I loved fucking him and equally liked it when he fucked me. This was also the only boyfriend I had that I was truly in love with.

In my second relationship I was strictly a top. I enjoyed it but I left him because he never treated me like his equal and the relationship was so one sided. He was also very effeminate.

I had some hookups between my second relationship and my third one. In these hookups I met with guys that were strictly tops so I always bottomed.

In my third relationship, we only had anal sex a couple times. The first time I bottomed for him; but told him I was versatile. We later tried me fucking him but I couldn't stay hard. In honesty I wasn't too attracted to him in the first place.

So this past weekend I met this amazing guy. From the moment I met him, even though we had agreed to meet as just platonic friends, I knew that I wanted to be with him in some way. I was so attracted to him and felt feelings I had that were similar to feelings I had when I met my first boyfriend. We spent two nights together making out cuddling but as we got to talking he said that he was not ready for a relationship at all but that he liked me a lot. We said that we barely know each other and that we need to take things super slow and not give a name to our friendship/relationship. When the subject of sexual preference came up I told him that I've recently been bottoming for my partners. He said that we was a bottom too and I got so bummed because I thought that it wasn't going to work out between us. He asked me if two bottoms can really be in a relationship together.

So I'm just thinking to myself, what am I exactly? I really like this guy and I'm so attracted to him, should I try topping him when the occasion comes?
My feelings for him are so incredible and I just don't know what to do.
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#2
Why does it have to be decided so early? And why should a relationship depend upon whether someone is bottom or top?

Why not try things out and see how it goes... Not simply write it off due to not being able to decide who gets the bum fun!
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
[/COLOR]
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#3
^ Well at first he seemed to think that it's a dealbreaker. At one point during the night he said he wished I was a top.
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#4
I think if you not got a chance to both take turns then you are not having enough sex!!

Either way they both fun!!
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#5
Well, we just met last Saturday. We did make out, did oral, and cuddled the whole night. Right now we are really good friends, and we are getting to know each other. I am trying to find the right time to tell him that I will top for him.
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#6
cool.

To quote an old saying but man its still true today as it was 10 million years ago "Lifes too short" If he not willing to make you feel happy as well hes so not worth it!

Or maybe some time will tell.....I not the best for advice as i very new to being out etc... BUT your feelings are imortant as well as his!!

Hope you end up sorting this out to a happy result for both of you x
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#7
Thanks!

Me too, I really care about him. And he wants to have me in his life, even if it doesn't work out. I really think he's an amazing guy. And I hope we can overcome this and find a solution. My feelings are telling me something about this guy.
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#8
follow your feelings as my best mate laura always tells me!!
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#9
treviuniverse Wrote:^ Well at first he seemed to think that it's a dealbreaker. At one point during the night he said he wished I was a top.


I can see one provisional way to solve the problem and that would be to get a double headed dildo, which would make it possible for you to share the same thing at the same time while still doing it together... Then there's also all the rest which, I'm sure, does not depend on you being top or bottom: the cuddling, the kissing, the massages, caresses, the closeness etc... You have proved, in your early days that you were capable of topping when you were into the person, as you seem to be in this one, so maybe you should try it out, and when you get to know each other more intimately, then maybe can he be enticed to top too? Who knows. Discuss it...
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#10
princealbertofb Wrote:Who knows. Discuss it...

Best bit of advice today!!
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