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guy trouble
#11
Look at it this way my dear, He isn't worth your time. If he can't love/like you for the way you are he just isn't worth it.
I am the angles that hold and surround you

I am the demon you're afraid to meet
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#12
How do you know you didn't have sex if you were blacked out for 3 hours?

I, too, suggest you lay off the booze (or at least don't get drunk) since you have issues with blacking out and a suicidal past.

Please take care of yourself.
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#13
I would recommend waiting before saying anything...

Got to work on keeping your emotions under control, same sort of thing happened to me...nothing good happens...either end up saying something you regret or end up getting hurt...or both. Takes a long time to make changes like that but definitely worth putting the effort into.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
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#14
supasyd Wrote:I wish I could switch the feelings off until Saturday. I don't know how I can make myself feel like I don't need him its hard

You feel what you feel. The questions is what you do with it. Come to your senses here. You don't need him. You didn't need him last week, and you don't need him now. Further, he's been clear via others what his future with you is, which is nothing more than acquaintances. Play it cool and he will too. No need to make drama out of a drunken one night stand. Move on.

How to get over it? Skip the houseparty on Saturday. Go out with someone else that interests you, either right away or at least by Saturday.
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#15
No, don't write him online. Your longings will overcome common sense. If you can't tolerate it as a very casual relationship then give it up. The traditional remedy is cold showers and lots of exercise.
I bid NO Trump!
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#16
As others have said on here, if you are set on seeing him at this party, then you need to stay as sober as you can, ask to him sit with you somewhere quiet and private and have a very frank and open chat with him, having a friend caught in the middle passing messages back and forth is not gonna do either of you any good as things will eventually be lost in the passing of the messages not to mention probably resulting in a loss of that friend for one of you.

You also need prepare yourself for him telling you face to face that all he wants is fun (sex) and if this is not enough for you, then it is best you set boundaries that you dont engage in any fun cause it will just probably result in an increase in your feelings for him while he essential just uses you for his own ends and nobody deserves to be just another persons play thing. Again as someone else mentioned, before you met this guy, you did not need him in your life, so you really have to ask why that cant be the same again,. I'm a firm believer in the theory of people come in and out of our lives when and for the purposes we need them too and they will remain for the time required for us, so if this guy is meant to be around your life for you then it will happen, but trying to force things will do you no good.
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#17
Pretty sure we didn't have sex because my clothes were the same. I guess I just really hope something comes out of it. He fancies me physically I just hope my personality isnt too sucky. I'm not as unstable as i used to be but i am a party animal so i guess i wont be everyones cup of tea although i did make him laugh a lot and now im overthinking again.
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#18
supasyd Wrote:Pretty sure we didn't have sex because my clothes were the same. I guess I just really hope something comes out of it. He fancies me physically I just hope my personality isnt too sucky. I'm not as unstable as i used to be but i am a party animal so i guess i wont be everyones cup of tea although i did make him laugh a lot and now im overthinking again.

Don't contact him over the internet. You are to emotional about the whole thing. Sometimes loneliness will play tricks with our emotions and make us do rash things.

Have hope, but don't invest all your feelings/thoughts/plans into the hope. Wait until you have a real connection, not a one night stand, oh he's the love of my life falling in love feeling connection. Been there done that with girls and guys, had my heart crushed plenty of times. Let things develop naturally, which means trust when he's earned trust, love when he shows love and commitment, invest yourself in a relationship when he's doing the same. Otherwise, take it one moment at a time with anyone you meet.

I'm sure your personality isn't sucky at all. You are a specific type of person, just as I am, just as he is. Not everyone is going to want an emotional connection with you despite being turned onto you physically.

So, concentrate on what went right, you made him laugh, you cuddled and had a moment. Don't plan your life with him based on that.

Try not to get black out drunk, it will just lead to ruin for you. Doing things you wouldn't do while sober, risky sex, rape, sexual assault, etc...

You seem like a cute, quirky guy, I'm sure there's someone out there for you. I'd attempt date you Big Grin (if I were single and on the same side of the pond (though my partner has a thing for Brits Wink ))
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#19
supasyd Wrote:Pretty sure we didn't have sex because my clothes were the same. I guess I just really hope something comes out of it. He fancies me physically I just hope my personality isnt too sucky. I'm not as unstable as i used to be but i am a party animal so i guess i wont be everyones cup of tea although i did make him laugh a lot and now im overthinking again.

That's a good sign.

See him saturday and don't black out Wink

About the cuddling, maybe he's a virgin? Waiting for you to make the move? Getting to know you better? Not wanting to take advantage of your drunken stupor?
Overall he sounds like a nice guy, calm down and see what happens.
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#20
Cuddly Wrote:That's a good sign.

See him saturday and don't black out Wink

About the cuddling, maybe he's a virgin? Waiting for you to make the move? Getting to know you better? Not wanting to take advantage of your drunken stupor?
Overall he sounds like a nice guy, calm down and see what happens.

He is a nice guy as well which is kind of what I need. We were pretty close to having sex but i really really want to get to know him more but i am not seeing him till saturday which feels a lifetime when someone is stuck in your mind. I have 3-4 days i need to distract my mind
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