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how do people move on
#1
so quickly like wtf! my bf of two years (this happened like 2 weeks ago) just decided for us to take a break... i gave him a week before i just messaged him on fb that i am not a choice and that im breaking up with him. later i find out he was talking to someone a 2 weeks before i broke up. its painful to think of all the things he might have been doing. its been a week and a half and i cant get over the hurt. i mean im not gonna kill myself but its something i wish i could turn off. its like because he is a top there are tons of desperate bottoms lining up for anything that winks at them.... it hurts so much that i cry sometimes! although it made me stronger i still feel like i will always live with this pain. i also feel like ill be alone forever. i know this is untrue but it feels so convincing

anyone else have a similar story?
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#2
I’m getting older as we speak and have not only ever had a boyfriend, but have never had a date in general. I will also continue to stress the fact I have never met another gay person – because yes, that is disappointing. I have to come to terms that no one may ever want me, that’s life. Does it make me sad, yes, but on the other hand, if I can make others happy that satisfies me.

I know you hurt now, but you are strong and no matter what you are worth it, simply because you are human. Hang in there…

Bighug
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#3
I understand how you feel but you are still young, there are lots of things that will come your way soon.

Dont feel so hopeless, its not like when a man leaves you, its already the end of the world. There must be a right guy waiting for you and when you meet him you'll understand why the two of you broke up in the first place.

What I did when I parted ways with a guy whom I've been with for nearly 4 years is to pursue my interests, like if you have a job, get busy with it. If you have hobbies and sports you like, pursue it. Get busy. As much as possible dont look at things which will only remind you of him. Then just think of things why he doesn,t deserve you. I know when we get into relationships we think its lasting, but its not always the case and its the reality of life

Be happy! Life is too short to be preoccupied with events that hurt us. All the best for you Smile
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#4
My 6 relationships all ended badly - Badly as in either they abused me in some manner or they cheated on me. So 'moving on' and getting over them was a pretty easy thing to do since it was clear to me that there was no potential to going back.

Why you decided to take a break and why that was untenable to you I do not know, however it seems to me you have a bit of regret, and I have to wonder how valid that regret is.

Taking a break from a realtionship after two years to figure out 'where are we' and 'who am I' is a reasonable thing. Denying him that time he obviously needed and asked for by calling off the past two years in two short weeks doesn't seem reasonable.

Did he hit you? Did he cheat on you? Did he use you or abuse you in some manner? If no then I have to wonder why it is you decided 'to hell with this, he ain't worth waiting for' well youthful impetuous behaviors comes to mind.

There is no fast road to recovery, time and only time heals broken arms and broken hearts. There are no short cuts, can't even shorten it by a second. You will suffer through this, and slowly regain whatever it is that passes for contentment in your life - or not. Sometimes a broken heart is a terminal condition.
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#5
Evan88 Wrote:I understand how you feel but you are still young, there are lots of things that will come your way soon.

Dont feel so hopeless, its not like when a man leaves you, its already the end of the world. There must be a right guy waiting for you and when you meet him you'll understand why the two of you broke up in the first place.

What I did when I parted ways with a guy whom I've been with for nearly 4 years is to pursue my interests, like if you have a job, get busy with it. If you have hobbies and sports you do, pursue it. Get busy. As much as possible dont look at things which will only remind you of him. Then just think of things why he dont deserve you. I know when we get into relationships we think its lasting, but its not always the case and its the reality of life

Be happy! Life is too short to be preoccupied with events that hurt us. All the best for you Smile


this helped a lot! ty!
Reply

#6
Jovial Wrote:I’m getting older as we speak and have not only ever had a boyfriend, but have never had a date in general. I will also continue to stress the fact I have never met another gay person – because yes, that is disappointing. I have to come to terms that no one may ever want me, that’s life. Does it make me sad, yes, but on the other hand, if I can make others happy that satisfies me.

I know you hurt now, but you are strong and no matter what you are worth it, simply because you are human. Hang in there…

Bighug


**Bags packed**
Now, how the hell do I get to Manitoba???????????
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#7
Well, I cant really say anything here.

All I can say is I fell in love only once. He didnt know it, and neither did I.
He was a "roommate with benefits".
I had no idea I had fallen in love, since it never happened to me before.
I ended up being a gigantic dickhead (even more gigantic than on here, if you can believe that), and I never saw him again.
About 3 months after he left, it just hit me upside my head like a brick one day......
I had fallen in love with this guy.

So, now I know what it feels like, so IF it ever happens to me again, I know what it is.

Hmmmm....dont know where I was going with this..........

But if he was cheating on you before you split, then he's no good. You will feel bad for a month or two, then you will feel a bit better. And you will keep feeling better as time goes on.
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#8
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:My 6 relationships all ended badly - Badly as in either they abused me in some manner or they cheated on me. So 'moving on' and getting over them was a pretty easy thing to do since it was clear to me that there was no potential to going back.

Why you decided to take a break and why that was untenable to you I do not know, however it seems to me you have a bit of regret, and I have to wonder how valid that regret is.

Taking a break from a realtionship after two years to figure out 'where are we' and 'who am I' is a reasonable thing. Denying him that time he obviously needed and asked for by calling off the past two years in two short weeks doesn't seem reasonable.

Did he hit you? Did he cheat on you? Did he use you or abuse you in some manner? If no then I have to wonder why it is you decided 'to hell with this, he ain't worth waiting for' well youthful impetuous behaviors comes to mind.

There is no fast road to recovery, time and only time heals broken arms and broken hearts. There are no short cuts, can't even shorten it by a second. You will suffer through this, and slowly regain whatever it is that passes for contentment in your life - or not. Sometimes a broken heart is a terminal condition.

it was the right thing to break up with him... considering he was talking to someone behind ny back... i regret it but thats what hurts the most. masochism imo
Reply

#9
sitchblap Wrote:so quickly like wtf! my bf of two years (this happened like 2 weeks ago) just decided for us to take a break... i gave him a week before i just messaged him on fb that i am not a choice and that im breaking up with him. later i find out he was talking to someone a 2 weeks before i broke up. its painful to think of all the things he might have been doing. its been a week and a half and i cant get over the hurt. i mean im not gonna kill myself but its something i wish i could turn off. its like because he is a top there are tons of desperate bottoms lining up for anything that winks at them.... it hurts so much that i cry sometimes! although it made me stronger i still feel like i will always live with this pain. i also feel like ill be alone forever. i know this is untrue but it feels so convincing

anyone else have a similar story?

Can't say I've been there myself, but your situation is fairly common..

the guy was a bastard for not being honest..it was only right to brake up..

if you put up with stuff like that now, you'll put up with worse afterwards, so, it was the right thing to do for yourself

don't get your head into thinking what he might have been doing, that will only make it worse..

I think you know you'll get pass this..

get your cry on, and then move on..

you'll find better folks out there, you're certainly not bound to be alone
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